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sh!thawks...on parade: 10.2007

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30.10.07

who does a tow truck driver call when his truck breaks down?

do pigeons have a special organ meant solely for producing poop when they take off?

why is christmas chocolate already on sale?

does recycled toilet paper ever think "not this shit again."?

if organic fruits are better for you, and they're a lot smaller than non-organic one, does that means less is more?

is a tuna fish sandwhich seafood?

are skittles in cahoots with the leprechauns?

is bluegrass for people who are colour blind?

does spinach feel bad that children hate it?

why are there more bad flavours of jelly beans than there are good one?


now go! go ponder these and report back at once!
i had to go talk to my methods prof today, who also happens to be my professor mentor, cause they have different profs as mentors for different people and stuff, anyway...
i told him theres still part of my head that tries to tell itself it's past the halfway mark off the semester so it's all downhill from here, but then i mentioned how that's probably not going to happen at all. and he said yeah but at least you know what to expect next semester now.
and then after i left his office all i really wanted to do was go sit in a corner and shut my eyes and hope that maybe, just maybe, the world can take a two second breather and let me catch my breath. but instead i went to the lab and did two more hours of work, and then came home to do more.
even yesterday's downtime after the exam seems intrinsically worthless now. because the whole time i knew that starting again today there were no stops. it's like marching up some path that you know you need to go down and all the while watching the wave roll in on you but you know the only way to get to where you're going is to try to keep your head up and keep going.
i know that by the end of the semester im going to be a complete fucking wreck. the erratic sleeping patterns have already started again, that never ending sense of fatigue that accompanies them.
and on the face of it, everyone looks like they're fine with the work and the writing and the reading, and i know that's not true, but then it starts to make you wonder, what if they are and im the only one who's not? but you still know it's not true, but once you've planted that seed of doubt, it never goes away.
every minute you spend doing something like groceries or laundry is a minute you think 'i could be getting some more writing or research done right now' and it's almost like guilt. almost but not quite.
sometimes i catch myself thinking 'what the fuck am i doing? i never sleep, im always tired, always hungry, there's never any pauses' and then i tell my brain 'shut up, you get me through this and it'll be worth it. nothing easy is ever worth as much as something you work your ass off towards."
so i'll come home, i'll sit at my desk, rub my eyes, feel that crushing weight of everything at once, and in the morning, i'll get up and do it all over again, because what's the point in coming this far if you're not going to see it through to the end?

etched on the air

29.10.07

i do. that's right. CAMBIE CAMBIE CAMBIE. and i didnt even go with chad or danielle or robyn or the usual blog type folks, no. i went with the Public Policy post-econ-exam-we-fucking-hated group so now i smell like a hostel bar and cigarettes.

CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE! CAMBIE!

ive heard saying that repetitiously makes some people annoyed. who the fuck cares.

IM NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE EXAM THATS THE RULES! HAH!

i toooooootally had a craving for some DQ the whole time but settled for a cheeseburger with no cheese on it and chicken fingers and fries and Winter Ale omg so good. it felt good to just unload in the middle of the day. we've all been stressing out to the max lately and today we just let it allllllllllllll go away who cares bye.

i know i had more than i pitcher but im not sure by how much so i['ll sayy one an a halfs pitcher. i think. i dunno. only winter ale. good stuff.

ok.ok, so last night before i went to sleep i watched like five minutes of that L'ets all Hatetoronto thing on CBc and i thought "who fucking cares? oh boo goddam hoo, we all dont like you. suck it the fuck up. ' not everyone likes vancouver, or edmonton, or montreal or calgary or winnipeg. but oooooooooooh no, as soon as someone says toronto sucks some douche in a fucking pairate patche has to go make a fucking movie about it. seriously, is it that important? i dont think so. people rip on Alberta all the time for a lot of the same reasons and you know what? I DONT SEE A FUCKING MOVIE BEING MADE ABOUT 'OH NO PEOPLE DONT LIKE ALBERTA IM GOIN TO GO FUCKING CRY ABOUT IT AND GO AROUND THE COUNTRY WITH A BANNER SAYING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LIKE MY PROVINCE' fucking grow up.

i watched some of the interviews on the movie website where the guy bitches about how everyone in the US loves New York but no one here loves toronto and thats wrong. alright, listen, no, toronto is NOT new york, this is NOT the US and we do NOT all love you. you know why? BECUASE YOU ARENT FUCKING NEW YORK. do you know why everyone loves new york in the US? it's not because it's the biggest city or because of the fashion, or because of the food or whatever. it's because it at least espouses core american values. you know that Statue they have? what do you think that represents? New York is America at its finest, always has been, always will be, and it's recognized as, historically, a gateway to a new life in North America. dear toronto, you ARE NOT this in canada.

you know what, look, honestly, i dont hate toronto, i dont really dislike toronto as a city. i dont like the Leafs, because they're the Leafs. i dont like all the concrete downtown because mostly where i've lived downtown means you can see buildings, and or mountains and or river valleys at the same time. i thin kthe Toronto Song is funny because it's a comedy song, not because i agree with it. i know lots of people in and around toronto and they arent assholes or ignorant or think they're new yorkers. however, i dislike the premise of this film because it makes an issue out of osmething that most of the country could fucking care less about. that, and also, the fact that they continually say "toronto is the eastern city." no. sorry, leanr your geography, it's called central canada. you want eastern go past Quebec City.

look, here watch, i'll show you how easy it is to dislike places in canada and maybe the guys who made this movie wont feel so fucking alone. Edmonton; i like it cause it's home, it's familiar, but it sucks balls cause it's boring as hell. Ottawa, i like it cause it's a nice, clean city with a wicked cultural life. it sucks because you cant really appreciate it unless you're a totally stuck up prude with your hand up a politicians ass. Vancouver, west coast, mountains, good food, good people. it sucks because of housing prices, lame job market, and lots of people have a holier than thou attitude cause they live in Vancouver. see how easy that was? now watch me not go make amovie out of it, Montreal is wicked cause it's montreal, but it's annoying as hell because people there assume 'we're montreal so we're way fucking cooler than all of you'. see how easy that was to spread the love?
i think it's guys like the ones who made this movie that actually piss off the country because they're making it a bigger issue than anyone cares to make it. that'd be like me going to Robson Square with my Alberta flag and waving it at people and constantly yelling "ALBERTA IS GREAT LIKE US MORE WE HAVE MONEY AND OIL AND HOCKEY SO LIKE US BECAUSE YOU SHOULD THATS RIGHT BECAUSE YOU SHOULD!" really, how much of an asshole does that sound like? a big one. sometimes leaving something as an off handed joke about another city or province is the best way to go.

and dont forget the movie makers admitted that the top three Toronto haters were: vancouver, montreal and TORONTO.

i have just effectively wasted a half hour drunkenly ranting about five minutes of a show i didnt even really want to watch and i have yet to shower the stench of one of the coolest bars in canada off. yeah, that's right, it's a hole but it still rules. fuck y'all if you dont think so. see, that doesnt even work in the scope of things. i cant be like "VANCOUVER IS THE BEST BECAUSE OF THE CAMBIE WHICH IS AWESOME!" because, come on, that's just a lie.

and fyi to all the naysayers, and this is the most honest i can be, i have never lived in a city in which i have once said 'it is the best in canada.' and i would think that you would have to have lived in at least one city in EACH region of the country to even BEGIN to attempt that. and at least two years per. split between west, central and east. and the real east. like the maritimes. not ontario east because that's only east of hamilton. oh, and fyi, the IKEA in Burlington still remains at #1 for me. but the pork chops in Banff rule the world. see, you cant concentrate the best in one city. it's not possible.

and besides, at the end of the day, we all look up to the same flag. except if you live in quebec. but that's a whole other drunken rant.

i smell like the Cambie

28.10.07



i didnt get very good sleep last night...bad dreams.

the kind where you have several in a night and each one has its own distinct beginning and ending and for each one you think to yourself, 'here we go again.'

and when you finally wake up, all you can do is lay there for a moment and wonder, 'jesus...am i awake, or is this just going to continue?"

the kind that leave you restless on a day that you want to get things done.

the kind that means you only give a half assed laugh when you find Ernest Scared Stupid on tv.

and a flyswatter

27.10.07



i spent another five hours in the student lounge today studying more econ. and i will go back tomorrow. blah.

im really starting to dislike the network setup my landlord has setup. i havent been able to get on to it sinice last night, so now im sitting over by the front window with Leonard Katsu and jacking a very unstable network signal from who the fuck knows where. this is not really helpful seeing as how later i'd like to be able to sit at my desk with two screens and go back over my policy brief for my issues class without having to worry about not getting a signal.

im a big fan of hardlines right now. even the wireless signal at school has been shittastic lately.

im going to get a haircut.

victories for the faint of heart

alright, so we all know that the Tories are shitting on the Kyoto Protocol for what they call their own more realistic made in Canada approach that we've all heard absolutely nothing about.

well, i have a suggestion for them:

Tell Lawrence Cannon to tell his ministry to stop blocking sales of a made in canada approach to combating CO2 emissions through vehicle use.

Zenn has posted a petition to have all Provinces adopt legislation to adopt Low-Speed Vehicle regulations so their vehicles can actually make it into the hands of Canadians.

This is probably something that major urban centers should also be looking at. These vehicles are small, quiet, clean, and require no modifications to any infrastructure to work. Seriously, who cares if they only go 40km/h. if you're in downtown Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, Calgary, where ever, you don't need to be going balls out in an SUV.

if the Tories can't won't do anything to promote a Canadian company that's selling their cars around the world, and has proven they're worth it, then the Opposition parties should be pounding on John Baird's door about it. though that probably won't do much good anyway, considering he pretty much ignores expert opinions given to him face to face.

seeing as how after i finish my master's i'll most likely be living in a major urban center, this is definitely an option that i would look to for vehicle use. that is, if we can get our government to let us buy them instead of seeing more blinged out H2's hogging the road.

and then the past recedes

25.10.07

our soccer team left with it's first victory today. 5-3. with ten percent of the game spent shorthanded because the ref was a douche and decided that we're the only team he wants to give yellow cards to.

according to the Oxford University Press, 'funner' is not a word. people should realize this and cease using it in a legitimate sense.

the Batman/Lobo two issue special is not as good as it should have been. therefore, much like funner, you can ignore it.

tomorrow will be 20 something'th day in a row where ive gone to school to do stuff. including weekends.

i could really go for some mini doughnuts right now.

21 more to 1000.

anal repercussions


i'm going to start a group along the same lines as PETA only it'll be called PUMP.

People for the Uber Mutilation of Pumpkins.

not to be confused with Pissed off Umpires Manning home Plate. and we all know why they're pissed. c'mon. baseball is boring. that's right. they know it. they're pissed off because they know their sport involves a guy tightly gripping a long hard shaft of wood and whacking at some balls.

it's a wonder that republicans still watch it.

watch you falling on

24.10.07

Dear Stéphane Dion,

Grow some fucking balls and stop handing our country over to a group of people who want nothing more than to see us governed by religious zealots, climate change deniers and weak kneed republicans.

No, Canadians don't want an election, but they also don't want to see our politicians not doing their jobs.

I hope you are very satisfied knowing that now every idea in the Throne Speech will now be made into a matter of confidence because you were too much of a pussy to get your party to do something about it. Are you really willing to jeopardize Canadians with the possibility of a Harper majority? I hope not, I like living in Canada, not a US clone.
i finally fell like i've caught up to everything school wise. i've put two assignments in the bag in the last few days, i can spend the next few days studying for our econ midterm without having to worry about papers.

sweet. jebus. yes.

I'm not really sure what i want to do now. i didnt bring any econ stuff with me this morning so i could buckle down on an Issues assignment. yeah, welcome to the land where a three page paper takes 16 hours to write.

i'm debating either going home and playing some guitar for a while then going for a wander, or going to see Across the Universe.

or i could keep sitting here for a few hours and stare at nothing in particular, which seems to be a reoccuring symptom in this room...

tides and dreams dont seem so tall at all

this is probably one of the weirder videos you could watch...



thiiiiiiis one, on the other hand, is probably the most fucked up video you will eeeeeeever find...



thanks to everett for showing these to me the other day after we were all disappointed by the XBox Live arcade remake of Prince of Persia.

no, no, no seeds

23.10.07

i have the tv on in the background while i rearrange my pseudo closet and do laundry. future weapons is on.

somehow, i dont think any job i'll ever have will be as fun as 'explosive ordinance disposal technician'.



it was a bit of an ugly game tonight. actually, bittersweet would be the more appropriate term. i could have gone to the game courtesy of some extra tickets but unfortunately, seeing as how i have way too much shit to get done at schoolin, a few days at home wasn't in the cards this week.
i, for one, was glad to see smyth step back on home ice. no matter how you look at it, he was drafted by edmonton, played a dozen solid years in edmonton, and brought his heart and soul to the team and the city. it'll always be his home ice.
which is why the jerkoffs at Rexal who booed him the whole game pissed me off. fuck you guys. he didnt piss on the team like Comrie or Pronger. this was Kevin Lowe's deal. if you're gonna boo someone, fucking go and boo Lowe. that extra money Smyth was asking for could have pretty easily come out of Penner's contract you douchebag. you want someone who's worth what you pay for, it isn't fucking Dustin Penner, it's Ryan Smyth.
when i see smitty play the oilers now, i'm not going to boo him. im going to give him a cheer, as would anyone who appreciated what he did for the Oilers for over a decade. he's not a traitor to the team, and he never will be, unlike those arrogant dipshits who can only think in terms of 'he's on the other team, so now he sucks.'

best luck with the Avs, Smitty. you and your mullet are always welcome back in the Chuck.

those aren't his real teeth



staring down piles of paper and tuning out the voices that jump up from other tables.

more numbers. more tables. more writing.

lockdown in a room with no windows on a sunny day.

sitting in a prison of my own choosing with all the willingness in the world.

it drags on, dragged on, drugged on caffeine and fast food and sleepless nights

brushed a hair out of my eye, stared at the phone resting silently on the table

distractions are welcomed but not needed

and you realize looking in

22.10.07





30 days of night is amazing.

run for it and fly

21.10.07


Burnt city embers that glisten in the rain where we set our souls to wander under the gilded gaze of a sun so far removed from the rhythmic marching of drops, its voice a muted howl carried on the breeze that lopes lazily through spires of metal and concrete

This is where our thought ends, sighing on the empty sky full of stars that can be touched with a hand waved to the clouds but never moved, heartbeats of traffic jams that sing songs of closing doors and call out with horns like herds of animals lost and blinded in the light

Ashes like snow falling in our eyes but never reaching the wide open irises that sweep open onto planes of imaginary possibilities that stretch on into an abyss that glows blue with envy at never having the chance to live our real life

Wake up my dear, the city is calling, wake up and stand up over the realm of city that kneels at your feet beyond the window where you can rise with the sun that burns it to the ground and calm the voices carried on the wind

Wake up, my dear, you are home.

i'm the next act waiting in the wings

20.10.07

it's pretty much official. i have no life anymore. for a while now. i get up on weekends and actually plan to go to school to sit in a windowless room, sit in front of computers, and type for hours. and then repeat during the week.

so now i've been sitting in here for a few hours looking up research on low income cutoffs and poverty rate trends in quebec and somehow suggest policy alternatives to tackle patterns in low income families.

le woot?

there's also no one else around to randomly bust into random 80s dance moves to Flock of Seagulls like the other day.

oh yes. that's right. i ran. i ran so far away.

if anyone wants to come have an 80s dance party with me in here, please don't listen to your inner voice of niceness. this place will trap you with it's windowless land of rolling chairs and endless banks of computers.

or because you really shouldn't come to school on a weekend. seriously. doing that on a regular basis can result in trying out for Canadian Idol.

blarg must mean apples!

19.10.07



we had a lawyer guy come in for a guest lecturer today. on friday's we have a four hour class. the usual attention span of people in the class lasts at most about 45 minutes before you can start to see everyone tune things out. and then someone says something funny enough to make you realize you were tuning out and laugh appropriately and then go back to tuning things out. tuning things out can take on various forms, you could work on something for a different class, some people watch F1 races, lots of folks facebook, or, you could stare at your Azureus file transfers and wonder why an 88 MB file of george thorogood is taking 15 hours and a 1.23GB file of all five seasons of red vs blue only takes an hour.

im at the point where i keep forgetting what day it is and thats ok because they've all sort of started to melt into each other so it's like days dont even really exist you know? it's like, we're all just on some endless stretch of time that only seems like days because people sayyyyy so maaaaaan...deeeeeeeeeep.

...

oh right, i was going to go see 30 days of night tonight.

push 'em to the side



i have this stuck in my head.

sell the kids for the double wide

18.10.07



im sitting in the student lounge again (like that's anything new...) doing our second overnighter assignment. our prof knocked it down from three questions to two for this one and extended the hours we can hand it in from 9am to 5pm tomorrow. sweet.

ive also settled on in rainbows as work music. it's working out well so far.

right now im working on the question that asks how the Equalization Program works. fine, easy enough, but tell me how you stretch that out into a thousand words when im at 553 and have it done already...

you've gone off the rails

17.10.07

Flipping around the cbc website for write ups on the Throne Speech i came across the one about Harper's new government run media center to be located in an old shoe store on Sparks Street.

And it's purpose? To, "give the government control over which journalists attend news conferences. The government would also have the ability to do its own filming at the events, and could provide the footage to journalists, instead of letting them film the events themselves."

Alright, so, essentially, this let's the Tories decide what footage is used when, by whom, and which journalists can access it.

For some reason this strikes me as contradictory to free and unimpeded access to the media and press as stated by S.2b of the Charter of Rights.

This seems like a poor attempt to circumvent the National Press Theater where the PM SHOULD be conducting open and fair meetings with the press corps.

Yesterday the Toronto Star said that the PMO had decided
not to go ahead with the media center, but the very fact that it was even considered should be cause for alarm.

It's sort of a reflection of Britain under Thatcher when the Central Office of Information and the Government Information Service, both supposedly non partisan offices, were co-opted by government priorities and turned into little more than mouth pieces for a Tory government.

I think in this case you're going to see anti-conservative camps accuse this of having propagandist roots while the Tory supporters, in their usual flippant manner, will declare it a victory against the MSM and a 'liberal biased' media. (btw, I hate that argument and I often question people who watch FOXNews as to why they don't count that as mainstream seeing as how Rupert Murdoch pretty much owns the media in the US anyway...)

I'm going to have to agree with the propagandist model, and here's why; Randal Marlin, an expert on the history, use and techniques of propaganda states that "the propagandist seeks in general to link the project, person, ideology, party, or whatever to some thing or things that are viewed favourably and unlike some thing or things that are viewed unfavourably."

you can couple this with what Justin Lewis says: that media influence on public opinion is contingent upon how public opinion is defined. therefore, if you have a government run media center dictating access to what is said and seen, you define public opinion based on the narrow scope of party ideals.

Finally, Robert Hackett says that our knowledge of the world can be altered by the operation of knowledge-making institutions. so we can take this to mean that the operation of a government run media center alters our perception of knowledge of issues in a way that skews them to fit a framework that's more in agreement with what's being said by party officials and not subject to critical questions.

I wouldn't be surprised if this plan weren't at all shelved in its entirety by the Tories and instead kept as a fast action plan to set up a new media center. And then I'd time it to see how long it took for someone in Harper's office to see if they could hire Tony Snow...

what is in, i dont know

nothing like coming home from a long day ready to clean up the giant pile of clothes on your floor and throw them in the wash only to find the washer and dryer already in use.

a bunch of us tried watching question period today, but the cpac website sucks balls for high volume of traffic and kept kicking us off and when it wasnt doing that it could only weakly loop the first minute and a half of Dion's speech. lametastic.

that audi R8 is still at pacific center and now there's a video terminal to go along with it. really, the video is trivial, you need only gaze upon the awesomeness of it to know that it's that cool on it's own.

im supposed to get a week off next week. here's what that really means:

them: "you guys get a week off next week."

us: "woot!"

them: "now have this assignment handed in on this day, this one this day, get this group project finalized and approved on this day, read these, write this this and this, redo that, meet here for extra stuff, and dont forget to relax!"

us: "...so...does air canada have a seat sale on?..."

she'll infect you with spite and strep throat

16.10.07

i was reading some of the comments about the throne speech off the cbc website.

wow.

you know what an inherent irony is in an electoral system like canada's? stupid people can vote.

like angry Man from QC:

"every able body from 18 to 55 year old should be put to force labour until they decide to integrate our society as usefull citizens like most of us...I am very tired of spending my money so I can look upon a bunch of retarted dead beat cashing there welfare checks on the 1st of each month so they can hurry to the corner store and buy booze....If foreigners come here to live then they made a choice of accepting our culture and leaving their idiotic religious/cultural beliefs at the border"
or Ray from Beaconsfield:

"leave the 'global warming / climate change' junk science rants to the lunatic fringe...Eliminate funding for all 'special interest' groups...Eliminate all foreign aid, except for natural disasters...Draw a final line in the sand on 'aboriginal issues'. Everyone is either Canadian with the rights and privileges attendant to that status or they are not"
and of course Abbots-biblebelt-ford Russ:

"Reversing the steady flow of our Country toward moral separation so that we move back toward THE universal moral truth...It's common misconception that what's morally "right" is whatever works for you. WRONG! There is ONE UNIVERSAL moral truth, and denying it carries serious penalties past this life...you can't really avoid Christian principles when speaking about right and wrong"
I bet Russ is friends with Chris Neil.

it's kind of frightening to think that people like this think that these are entirely rational beliefs that would actually benefit Canadians.

Dear Angry Right Wing Nutcases,

I believe firmly that you have exercised your Constitutionally protected right to freedom of speech. I know that like all Canadians, you want to see a land of freedom, happiness, low tax, and where at least two of you don't have to worry about walking into a 7-11 and see an East Indian behind the counter which surely makes you go fucking crazy, sorry it's called multiculturalism and it's also a law you bigoted fucks. I know you just want to live happily ever after among your Godsquad and Climate Change denying friends and cast a blind eye to rational thought and a push for action to promote a healthy environment.

Oh, I think you must be in the wrong country, I think you mean you want to live in Texas.

Kindly get the fuck out of Canada and go somewhere where no one will have to listen to your ridiculous demands ever again. And when you have a nice little conclave of people with no social assistance, cancer from pollution and a church on every block, please only come back if you can leave your idiotic religious and cultural beliefs at the door.

K Thnx.

burnt city embers

there's a table set up in the food court downstairs that's piled with free samples of those new oh henry pro candy bars. yes. a table full of healthy candy bars.

it gets better.

a table piled with 'healthy' candy bars, being handed out by a big fat girl.

it's just funny enough to let me momentarily forget the fact that my methods assignment is now going to be reworked in it's entirety, again, away from a public opinion survey on the use of nuclear power in peace river to a case study design examining conditions of acceptance or rejection for nuclear plant proposals around the world in order to determine the likelyhood of acceptance of proposals in canda....and take a breath.

this table squeaks.

allow myself to introduce myself

15.10.07

im tired. ive been tired all day. to the point where i'll put my head down and suddenly i's an hour later. not conducive to getting things done, but i think if im that tired it cant be helped. im not sucking back a redbull at 10pm.

i was going through the folder where i keep stuff i've written. there's about a hundred in there plus however many in the little books i have tucked away i havent typed up yet.

it's kind of odd how i cant remember what i had for dinner two days ago but i can read something i wrote four years ago and remember exactly where i was, what mood i was in and why i wrote it...

A length of hall

Seen at a distance that is

Never expanding but,

It is growing longer

So far from family so far from-

From something in the past

And he sits in a chair

And he types at a keyboard

Click click click

Writing without watching

What is he writing?

He writes without seeing

Turns his head to look

Look upon the long hall

And sees the lights in the ceiling

That extend down the tile

And watches the Exit sign

Glow dully without anyone watching

And he turns back to the screen

And writes about being alone.


rez in ottawa. mellow. most of the people on the floor were out drinking. one per page, i've got like a 200 page book sitting in boxes in little pieces. imagine how that conversation would go... "hey, so how'd you pay for tuition?" "oh you know, angsty teens bought my book." ...after that im not really sure how that conversation would go...

it would need pictures too.

youre cool like Pam Bundy

i almost forgot i had to go to an atm on the way home from class. im glad i remembered and that i got off at granville to use one in Pacific Center because one of these was sitting right next to the TD machines.


now if you'll excuse me, i need to go find $140 grand and go back there to pick it up thnx.

14.10.07

oooooooooohmagahd the strike is over everyone look the strike is over aaaaaaaaand no one bats an eye.

i think it's fair to say the biggest reaction to this from the general public is going to be *grumble* about fucking time *harrumph*, so did you watch the game last night?

a brief history of thyme



apparently the elevators decide not to work on sundays at harbour center... so i have to sit at one of the wide open tables on the second floor and not in a room full of magnificently spinny wheeled chairs.

i think by coming here again today to do more reading, i've actually spent more time in the last seven days in this building than i have at my own place.

off i go again to read about urban planning and jurisdictional responsibilities in regards to municipal planning and revenue generation...

weird noises are implying threats on cold sheets of sweat

13.10.07

this is a strike post. because ive been at Harbour Center for over two hours working and i need a break.

more specifically, this is an annoyed tirade at the reccomendations given by city negotiator Brian Foley that will be voted on tomorrow.

first, let me say that i'm not opposed to unionization. I am however greatly opposed to unions who abuse their rights and privileges and in doing so impact the community they serve for lengthy amounts of time. I'll clarify something here. I was in grade 12 when the public teachers in Alberta went on strike. Given that my parents were both teachers, I was able to get a feel for both sides of the argument. That strike lasted about a month and impacted the students and parents at public schools. I still remain totally in favour of the actions taken by the ATA because the provincial government as well as many of families were treating public education like shit. School is not a babysitter, much to the chagrin of parents who wanted to know what to do with their kids. To get this point across as well as class size issues, updated school materials and a well deserved pay increase after what teachers have to put up with every day, I fully supported that strike.

The Vancouver strike is a totally different story. This has turned into one of, if not the longest strike in the history of the city. I wasn't living here during the last one, but when I walk out my front door and see piles of garbage in public parks, untended public lands, and hear about union workers allegedly seeding a field with glass and nails I get a little pissed off at what the city workers think they can get away with.

Last weekend a new deal was offerd up that was apparently widely accepted by union members but for some god-knows-why reason, CUPE leaders were screaming apeshit about members rejecting it. the new deal that's being voted on tomorrow includes:

"17.5 per cent pay hike over five years, a $1,000 signing bonus, whistleblower rules, no loss of seniority, vacation pay and sick pay during the strike, and limits on contracting out by the city."

ok, the pay raise seems reasonable enough over a five year period. Vacation and sick pay for on strike workers is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. You're not on vacation, and too fucking bad if you're sick, you're disrupting reacreational services, child services, social services, and impacting local health by leaving mounds of garbage around. The limits of contracting out byt the city is at least a partial reference to the Olympics, which for some reason the city workers see as a threat because they think the city will fork over their jobs and buildings to outside sources during the games. This is entirely untrue as the City of Vancouver has already delcared that no union jobs will be lost or outsourced during the games.

Another point that pisses e right the fuck off is the allowance of 14 days for outside workers to get back to work if the vote passes because they've found other jobs during the strike. i'm sorry, but there is no goddamn way that this should be an accepted provision. If you go on strike, and you go find another job, you've effectively walked away from your first one. I think two options should be used here; either those positions of workers who found outside work be be made immediately available for new entrants, or the worker has to reinterview for his own position. That's utter bullshit. You're a union, if you think that a strike is impacting your well being enough that you have to go get another job in the interim, use your members to confront the leaders of this joke squad and tell them they're only causing more problems. either that, or fine, let them vote, and if it passes let them go to work. then why not let the residents of vancouver ask for equivalent compensation for lost services and opportunites during the course of the strike directly from the union itself.

and now i will go back to reading about federal provincial transfer payments.

i like the Franglish











apparently my scheme of yelling PHILLY at the canucks was not followed properly because somehow the canucks played like complete shit and the Oilers had some solid offense going yet we still got our asses kicked. seriously, who fucks up that many passes in the first ten minutes of play?

also, who decided to start Garon? that person needs to be slapped.

im taking a wealth of cookies and tim tams with me to harbour center now to go o more readings.

you google imaged snatch?

12.10.07



game day. all the oilers have to do is yell "PHILLY!!!" at the canucks and they're assured a win.

i am veeerrrrrrry tired so i may go get a redbull at the halfway point of class.

the heater is on in this room and i forget that a hockey jersey gets warm quickly.

who the fuck is matt carle?

10.10.07

you know when people ask you things like "if you could live your life over, would you change anything?" in all honesty, how do you really say yes to that? because if you say yes to that then you didn't actually do the same things that led you to where you are right now. which in turn means that the question is rendered moot for the simple point that you'd have to be asked it all over again in the context of having lived a totally different life.

this is the kind of shit you think of when you mix poptarts, minute maid and long hours of methods assignments.

44 more til 1000. that's either amazing or sad.
apparently im an mvp.

my take on life is that it has a tendency to naturally balance itself out. pretty much all of yesterday i felt like complete shit and stressed out to the max. today it's subsided somewhat as our econ midterm has been pushed back two weeks, i was given an extension for a big methods project and i actually managed some decent sleep last night.

now im sitting in the student lounge listening to lots of key tapping as people frantically adjust papers.

i bet you could write that into a metallica song... FRANTIC CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLACK

apparently their next album will be the missing link between AJFA and the Black Album. im not sure i believe them at all seeing as how they described St Anger as sounding as good as Justice. aaand we all know how that turned out. i'll probably end up getting the new album anyway when it comes out. come on, it's metallica, they're an institution.

im supposed to go help install a floating ceiling or something tonight.

i'll knit you a toque

9.10.07










where's our pigeon camera

i don't get why there's a Nobel prize for economics. really. medicine, physics, chemistry, peace and literature make sense to me. you can have solid advancement and use out of those. it just seems to me that trying to legitimize a nobel prize for economics would be like saying "let's see who's graph of two random things they think are related for some reason is best. And if the lines are wobbly and look neat, then they get preference."
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away
your time is tick tick ticking away






bad mood.

i dreamt last night

6.10.07

im sitting on a couch in the living room listening to the old railway clock in the corner go tick tick tick. the light next to me is turned on low so it has that high pitched white noise feel to it.
everyone else is either alseep or on their way.
so im just sitting on the couch listening to the clock.

every time i come home everything is the same but at the same time everything is different. it might be a new plant, or new stepping stones in the backyard, but it adds up.

so i have to sit here for a while, quietly, and think about how much more might have changed since the last time i was here.

there's a line in garden state that goes "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."

this line goes through my head all the time when im here, and i try to decide if it's more true than not. i havent ever been able to come to a decision on it. sometimes i think it's true and sometimes not so much. it's a toss up. you move out, you spend a lot of time away from home, and when you come back, youre still family, but you sit down and look at everyone else and wonder what their own family minus you is like.

that being said, there are times when i feel like i just stepped right back into everything here. i go out hunting with my dad and it's just the two of us, shooting the shit, planning out shots and field sneaks, and it's some of the best times i ever get to have.

i ran a lot today.

i ran alot hauling decoys, shells, geese and trying not to trip over fallen logs, harrow marks, or plant stalks in a way that they jam up inside my jeans and stab me in the leg. had that happen before, not fuking cool.

i think that people wil go home this weekend and they'll have a good time. they'll relax. they'll eat. but they won't have as much fun as i will.

i am beyond a reasonable doubt, beat to shit today from running, creeping, carrying shit, and putting round after round of magnum shells through my gun. i can hardly move my shoulder after two days of it, and my head feels like i got hit with a sledgehammer. and i wouldnt trade it for the world.


ok, i lied, im sitting on the couch because i get the best wireless signal here.

dont let her lick the bowl!

5.10.07

there is ONE wireless network within range of my house. and i am stealing as much of it as possible.

aside from being uber tired from the early flight today was a good show. had a couple of nice shoots, came home to home made boston baked beans and now im going to go watch The Office with da seestah.

ps. Danielle, I have meat for you.

we should move before that tractor hits us

4.10.07


everyone loves early morning flights.
dear Vancouver, see you monday night.






from my 'i wish i could write as well as Jim Morrison' days:




The green bottle sits

Unmoving

Counter top existence where nothing

Can be done to ever

Change the future but

We all can do nothing

About it anyways

Picked up and held

In the hands of a bleeding man

Who looks at the label and spits

On the floor and raises it to his mouth

only to find that it holds

poison

but he drinks and swallows

and throws the bottle

to the ground and turns

and dies on a gurney


popcorn clouds

best solution for a shit mood: a walk, Mudvayne, and top it off with whipped cream in a can and mini chocolate doughnuts. fuck. yes. tasty.

actually today wasnt that bad anyway. except for this morning. i hit the snooze button three times. i swear there's some weird time warp thing going on à la Donnie Darko because no matter when i get up or how late i leave my house in the morning i always get to school at the same time even if i take an earlier or later skytrain.

we tied it up at soccer today. i scored once le woot. next week we get a full roster so we'll see a winning game.

im totally not shaving all weekend. i was going to continue this trend from this week but this morning my face was like 'I ITCH YOU BASTARD TAKE IT DOWN A PEG!'

it's the philosophy of meeting myself you know

3.10.07

today sucks balls. i feel like i've been knocked off kilter so bad i can't focus on anything. econ is a gong show. i cant seem to do anything but stare at my methods assignment that only needs two paragraphs to be finished. i cant even focus on readings. i barely made it through two. it's just over a month into the program and it already feels like it's kicking my ass.
i know there were points in my undergrad when i'd bitch about it. but at least that was after a semester was almost done at least. this one's going to be one of those things where you sit there thinking "oh fuck" and there's no respite.
it's easy to sit here and think "in two years i'll be set" but that ignores all the shit you have to go through to get there. this is going to be a long fucking two years.
for the most part, if something is in your way, you can go over, around, or through. this is pretty much a case of hold your breath and go right down the middle and hope for the best.
im kind of annoyed that i'd planned on having these two assignments done by now and on track in my mind with how i planned out the next two weeks and now it's more like a house of cards that im watching fall down slowly.
it took me a while to calm down today after another three hour struggle trying to get anything on that fucking econ assignment done. when this class is done is going to shoot so many goddamn holes in the textbook... that'll be even more cathartic than when shredded my kinesiology textbook and then burned the remains. that book was pure evil, i swear. this one's no better.
never take econ. if you take a major in econ you're a crazy person.

it's not even 8pm yet and it feels like midnight.

i hate not being able to accomplish anything today after sitting down to three classes of materials. i know there's that point where you just can't continue if you're making no progress, but making little headway for hours isn't a game im used to playing. it all accumulates. i wanted this done so this weekend i could forget it for a few days, but now it looks like i'll be coming home at night to bash my head against the wall to get things done.

however, it's important to maintain some level of humour through all the crap you have to put up with so i offer this:


stare at the wheel and fall apart

here's a question...

should an assignment for an introdution course that has four whole questions on it take four fucking days to even start understanding one question and have an entire class of people shake their heads because no one knows what the fuck to do to start?

this is absolute bullshit. there are phd candidates working as tutors for this class who cant do these questions.

on friday i get to watch the sun come up hanging in the air over mountains. for three days after that i get to breathe in the mornings when people are still sleeping. i get to watch the sun rise and watch the same sun set and say "i'll see you tomorrow" all over again. my thanksgiving is about family, but it's also about camaraderie, it's driving four hundred klicks in a single day for days in a row, it's appreciating the silence and the laughter, and most importantly it's about sharing something that few other people could ever hope to have.
satisfaction this weekend isn't just sitting on a couch or having a great meal, satisfaction is sitting on that couch after running the last breath out of me and aching everywhere, it's eating that meal knowing i worked hard for it.
i get to say hello to the day in a way that everyone wishes they could, quiet, peaceful and undisturbed by everything we want to escape from. and it lasts as long as i want.

tomorrow's only as far away as you want it to be

2.10.07



so the prof that everyone was stickig around to talk to about our last and next assignments didnt show tiday cause he was sick but no one knew this til a little note was found by another prof which resulted in a collective WHAT?

so now im sitting in the student lounge alternately working on my methods assignmet and playing Duke 3D. also silently yaying the fact that i managed an A- on that crazy overnight assignment. only two more to go.

and making pictures of me holding a tiny toilet. because it's SHITTY WEATHER OUT! HAHA! see what i did there?

i got like 15 coupons at Eh n' Dub this morning.

i'll cost YOUR benefit!

1.10.07


our two assignments that were due this week were postponed to next week. insert collective sigh of relief.

through whatever coincidence of the space time continuum, or fluke, when my alarm went off for the third time this morning after having twice mashed down the snooze button for fourteen whole extra minutes of drowzy bliss, my phone rang it's little ringing ring for when i get a text when it's plugged in. thus essentially, i was awakened today by a text message from my sister telling me "I CPR'd the shit out of someone last night!" and in that kind of dazed just-got-woken-up-by-a-text-message kind of way, i out loud asked "did you break his ribs?" and then realized that she couldnt hear me.

and then i spent four hours trying to learn about utility theory. and it's one of those things where you're like "ummm what?...oh i got it...nope wait...oh no yeah i get it...wait what...oh i see, ok that number goes there....um, where in the fuck did that number come from...ummmmm oh ok ok ok wait yes..." or more simply "why did i get a phone from at&t that gets no service?"

if my y is 0 then my MRS makes my u=xy worthless which mean my B= PxX +PyY is not going to buy me beer

woot le root, got me a timmy's breakfast samich finally! hey. shut up. it's exciting.