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sh!thawks...on parade: 12.2008

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i sat next to a guy on the plane yesterday who's taking his BBA at Langara who told me he wasn't sure if he had a ride back from the airport because his buddy who was supposed to pick him up had texted him earlier saying "i woke up in Coquitlam, I lost my pants, but i'll still try to make it"

dude's a day early for that.

when i flew back to edmonton my suitcase was 3 pounds heavy. the lady at the counter was nice enough to ignore it. on the way back to vancouver it as 5 pounds over. the lady at the counter asked if i could take something out and stick it in one of the two very full backpacks i had over my shoulders.

what an astute observer you are for noticing that five more pounds of whatever can be stuffed in there.


i paid the overage charge. 5 pounds cost me exactly $42. at which point i took it as a sign because everyone knows the importance of 42.

anyway. got back. stuffed my face with Pho, headed over to the Mob House to watch the Canucks play a crappy third period and meet an American who agreed with me that Vancouverites dont have a good grasp on how to shovel snow.

OMG. SERIOUSLY. ok, i realize that it hardly snows like this here, but for fucks sake. if you only shovel a four foot space away from your car that you have to spend twenty minutes maneouvering into, OF COURSE YOURE GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS PARKING. i watched a guy parallel park through a space barely wider than his car last night. it was like he purposely only built a door in a snow berm that big so he could have a fort around his car.

look, Vancouverites, I'll give you some good snow removal advice.

you ARE allowed to bitch and complain about how deep and heavy the snow is. you ARE NOT allowed to do that until after you have cleared the entirety of your front walk. it's just the way it is. likewise, you ARE allowed to complain about snow making it hard to park. you ARE NOT allowed to bitch and complain about it if you only either brush the snow off your car and nothing else, or only clear a tiny little section that you can barely drive out of. if your street is wide enough, you should clear ALL THE DAMN WAY around your car and alternately throw the snow into the middle of the road and/or beside or over the sidewalk but not ON the sidewalk. you ARE allowed to throw it on another car should that care park in a space preventing your own vehicle from easily leaving.

or, if you feel up to it, duct tape a few shovels to the front of your car and just give'r.


tonight is New Years. i've never ever made new year's resolutions because lets face it, the likelyhood of anyone ever accomplishign them for reals is pretty low. the only thing i've decided to do this year is to meet some more of the locals that i havent had the chance to meet yet. and try go get a beer float in there at some point. and not fuck up on my thesis defence. other than that, we'll see what happens. you can't tell me that over the course of an entire year you'll be able to stick to one or two ideas you drunkely spout at 1am. never gonna happen. it's way easier to just take things as they come cause then you dont feel some stupid kind of guilt next new years when you try to remember if you actually did what you said you'd do the year before.

there's a naturalistic blowing through the air


i have to remember that the whole staying up til 3am watching x-files isn't the way to get a decent sleep and be able to wake up before 10. oh season 5, you're going to waste so much of my time in the next few days which i shouldnt really waste...

i went to pick up the pictures im using for my exhibit in january today. i had them done at london drugs, and i go in and hand the photo lady the pickup slip, and she keys it in and all of a sudden i go 'uhhhhhhhh.....' cause the screen is telling me the total is $431 and the slip said $239. so i ask if it's four hundred some cause if it is, fuck that im not paying that for prints. but then she started busting out the coupons and rebate things cause apparently you get a shitload of them with an order this big. i had over $218 in coupon savings. plus, apparently the photo person who developed them decided to make me a second print of everything at no charge. fuck yeah!

now it's only a matter of doing a short write up for each one... and deciding on how to go about the opening night thing. which is ok cause i get to plan it with the woman who's second in command at Harbour Center. or first. i dunno, she's up there somewhere in charge.

i went with my sister today to swap the camera bag she got me for christmas cause apparently my mom never told her she was getting me the Crumpler. i wanted to swap for a MB-200 vertical battery grip or a Lens Baby Composer, or if i felt no guilt at all, a Tokina 10-17mm fisheye.

FOUR STORES, fouuuuuur camera stores i went to and do you think they have any of them?



and that includes the best camera store in Edmonton.

they had no vertical grips, no fisheyes, and they only had Olympus mounts for any Lensbaby stuff, which they only had the 2.0 or 3G anyway. who the fuck only has Olympus mounts?? i don't even know anyone who uses Olympus at all. i don't think i've ever seen anyone use Olympus anything, not even a point and shoot. so i think after i get home tomorrow i'll pop over to Kerrisdale camera that's over by Meterotown and see if they have one.

i have onion breath cause we're having a fondue for our parent's anniversary, and whilst i was prepping the veggies i was eating some of the pieces that did not meet par. i used to hate onions. i also used to loathe mushrooms. not just dislike, but genuinely loathe them. now i'll eat them raw or cooked whenever. especially red onion grilled on a BBQ. oooooooh yeah.

i have a chocolate dreidle.

don't cheat! love your meat!


three times charm

i have the third TextBusters ready but the wireless signal im stealing from my neighbour's isn't all that hot right now so i have to wait to upload it.

consequently, our neighbour's dog is spending two nights here cause they went somewhere for the weekend which means i can't go upstairs to get a snack now cause she'll start barking and wake everyone up.

i finished picking the pictures i'm using in my photo exhibit in january about my time in Dhaka. finally. i kept putting that off. it was kind of a pain in the ass cropping fifty pictures so they'd fit in an 8x10 properly. i don't print a lot of shots so i'm always surprised at how much of the feel of the picture you lose when you have to crop it.

sean connery just killed a dude on Red October. isn't it amazing how Russians all have Scottish accents?

i have to start trying to figure out how to pack everything back up to fly back to Vancouver on tuesday. hopefully it doesn't fucking snow ten feet and my flight gets cancelled. floods i can live with. cancelled flights, i could do without.

someone needs to figure out what's going on for new years because a) im lazy and b) see part a.

i need to work on getting a normal sleeping pattern going again.

order in the next three minutes


i've never owned a Bob Marley cd before. now i have three. same with Steely Dan. and now i have two. i guess it's one of those weird things where you like a band or artist but you never seem to have any of their stuff. like Sloan. i like sloan. i have no sloan at all.
and then you end up getting an album somehow and you wonder why you never had it before.

i still have to pick which pictures im going to use in my exhibition in january and do the write-ups for them. maybe i'll do that tomorrow night cause my dad and i are doing guy stuff tomorrow. which basically means you can expect another episode of TextBusters in the near future.

heading back to Vancity on Tuesday. im hoping that nature doesnt decide to dump another three feet of snow on the city right before i fly back and closes the damn airport.

oh no! they're forming a human pyramid! of robots!


so, i came home with a suitcase, a backpack and a small camera bag. now i have to figure out how to get back to vancouver with a suitcase, two backpacks and two camera bags. unless you count two camera bags as backpacks. in which case, three backpacks and a small camera bag.

yeah, so now i can include a Crumpler Whickey & Cox and a Lowepro Mini Trekker Classic in the 'object that you wear on your back' count.

couple of dvds, two Steely Dan albums, a new Buffalo zip hoodie, a Buffalo Shop long sleeve T, and a nameless thing that is wickedly nameless.

turkey, gravy, potatoes, cheesecake, you know, the godo foodstuffs.

gonna sleep now.

leaky wires


christmas eve Star Trek movie marathon ftw.

wrathful Khans

these are without question the greatest christmas tv specials to ever have been made in the history of everything.

whether or not you celebrate christmas have a merry whatever you do celebrate and don't pass up the opportunity to guzzle some gravy and wine.

i'm going to go chill my beer in the snow now cause there's no room in the fridge.


me: some guy is lecturing his kid on how to put books back where they belong in the library

danielle.ciavarro: hahaha damn kids

me: oh man this mall it makes me lose faith in humanity

danielle.ciavarro: people are nuts pat they really really are

me: like acorns or what's nuttier than an acorn?

danielle.ciavarro: pea nut

me: well, is that only cause you get two peanuts per shell?

danielle.ciavarro: yes

me: what about the ones where you only get one?

danielle.ciavarro: they are special

me: but are they still nuttier?

danielle.ciavarro: yes because there should be two of them'

me: hmm good point is a pistachio a nut?

danielle.ciavarro: its like theyve gone mad and split up yes good nuts at that

me: they don;t really seem like nuts

danielle.ciavarro: no but they have shells

me: yeah but they're split open

danielle.ciavarro: oh interesting point

me: you know which nut would be best for porn? chestnuts nuts on a chest it's unavoidable

danielle.ciavarro: very very true damn pervy nuts

me: you know there's Nutella porn? i only know that cause i had a conversation with shaz that was about nutella and somehow it got googled and there is

danielle.ciavarro: ok weird nutella use to be good now its gay

me: yeah but it could be gay in that happy sense like it makes your food gay and delicious cause it's pretty tasty like British

danielle.ciavarro: no it USE to be tasty they changed the receipe

me: did they?

danielle.ciavarro: yea from what i remember it tasting like as a kid they made it healthier

me: i bet the Hazlenuts found out the Chestnuts got a better deal doing porn and all quit


on a completely different note... and i'll warn you ahead of time it's a super geek fest note...

i'm a big fan of science. i used to have a subscription to Discover. i got annoyed when TLC turned into some stupid lifestyle station instead of what once used to be a channel full of dinosaurs and asteroids. thankfully Discovery Channel has stepped up to the plate. for the most part. i mean really, A Haunting? fuck off, that's not a Discovery show. and Cash Cab? Worst. Show. Ever.
any time there's a show on about dinosaurs or space or geology or whatever, i'll come to a dead stop in the channel surfing and watch and learn. of course sometimes this means i get all paranoid about a megathrust earthquake and vow to only ever live on solid bedrock far from a coast line...
anyway, i was flipping through the channels today, choosing to venture away from my staples of Discovery, FoodTv and Comedy Central. i happened upon PBS. and of course PBS has NOVA. and as we all know from our younger days with public access, NOVA fucking rocks. well ok, at first I didn't know it was NOVA, but it was this show about the race to absolute zero. so i watched, all geeked out and waiting for the history lesson to turn into the inevitable discussion of quantum theory, because i know shit all about quantum mechanics but i love to watch and read things about it. about halfway through the show i found out that i, and everyone else who's ever taken a science class, was cheated on our education.
that's right, cheated.
we were all taught that there are three states of matter: solid, liquid and gas.
you know what?
apparently there's a fourth.


so what if it's based in quantum theory and fourth graders can't draw pictures of it? so what if the name alone makes you shrink back in fear of large mathematical concepts?


yep, the Bose-Einstein Condesate. the name just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

think about it, you go to McDonalds and order, and instead of ice you say "i'd like a coke, no ice, but with some BE Condensate instead"

the cool thing is that it's so cold you'd thnk it should be solid, cause it's almost at absolute zero, but it's not even. it's like some weird state of solid wavelength thing. how cool is that? how would you even handle that? a solid that's not really a solid?


hey, i told you this was super geeky.

but it's inorganic


sometimes things seem so insurmountable that you just sit there and look and have no real idea of how to tackle anything, where to start, where to finish. then one day you look at it and see what you've got sitting in front of you and think maybe it's not as bad as it looks, maybe you're a little further than you thought, maybe little victories amount to large ones when you really aren't looking for one. and in the interim you plug away at it. not in a daze, not at a loss for words, but still not in that place you wish you could be. where words come and go freely and flow and in and out like breathing. exhalation of ideas and ideals. though sometimes isn't that what gets us in trouble.
you can follow conversations but still feel like you're on the outside looking in. you can be presented with a solution, take a good look at it, know what to do with it, but still have no clue how to use it. inhalations of uncertainty. people shift, they flow even when they aren't moving. leaving places gains you new outlooks, coming back to places gives you more perspective. between there and here, where are we exactly? in the middle of things when we open our mouths to say something that we've thought of hundreds of times before, but no sound ever comes out. breathing to survive, not to think, not to make a statement, not to be profound. acceptance doesn't come at an easy price for most things.
we can stand anywhere and look into the same sky, the same sun, the same earth and never know the same things we once knew standing a few feet away.
then you find yourself at a loss for words. then you start to realize that maybe things only look the same to us so we don't have to face the differences. does your breath catch? do you pause for just one second and wonder whether to go back a few paces, or do you breathe out, blink and take that one blinding step forward into some uncertain realm that outwardly looks the same as any other day, but everywhere else it's a whole new throw of the dice.
and all the time you spend wondering this, you can't remember if you've just exhaled or inhaled.

ticks and strings

i don't often wax politikal on here as much as I used to but this morning when i saw that Harper has suddenly decided to try and get fucking Mike Duffy into the Senate...

what a fucking joke.

I realize that hypocrisy is an integral part of politics, but for Harper to suddenly do a 180 on his dislike for nominated Senators over elected ones just to try and get an edge in on the Liberals is a pretty weak tactic. If you've built up a reputation as the leader of a party dead set on bringing in elected Senators and then pull this shit just because you can't get your way, I'm pretty sure you've just compromised a large part of your partisan values.

What's more annoying about this is the fact that he's doing it after he himself asked the GG to prorogue Parliament. I'm pretty sure that Steve-o should be using the time before the House resumes to, oh I don't know, try and fix some more immediate problems than jockeying for position in the other Chamber.

It's not like 18 Tory Senators is going to make that much difference anyway. They aren't going to control the majority of the Senate, and there are still more left-leaning party affiliations in there than Tory friendly ones.

To me, this is the equivalent of Harper throwing a temper tantrum over the fact that he hasn't managed to win a majority. and not even a little kid temper tantrum. no. an angsty, whiny, 'i-hate-my-parents' 16 year old one.

you know what's more fun than reading the actual articles on CBC? the comments. mostly because people can't spell. like people who say that Harper has done a good job and should be made our SUPREAM LIDER!

yeah, you keep up that spirit buddy.

going to see Day the Earth Stood Still later.

cueballs and pointy sticks


i tried one of these bad boys out yesterday. i probably shouldn't have. i probably should have walked past the photo department and gone to the computer department in the nice little London Drugs we have out here and looked at the new Macs instead, because while I can live just fine with Leonard Katsu, picking up and handling a 700 has not done anything to asolve my brain from constantly drooling over one.
i have to say, from all the reviews and photos ive read and seen, it thing seemed like a monster, but when I actually held it, it was a lot smaller and lighter than I expected. for some reason the demo one they had was kitted with the 60mm f2.8D, but if you actually buy it kitted you get the 24-120 IF. which begs the question, why don't you have the kit lens on the camera? it would make sense, non?
i think the only thing i didnt like was the way the auto-focus looked in the viewfinder, but that's probably cause im so used to mine. other than that, in the little time I had to get a feel for it i *droolz*

waking up with pills


i spent a good part of the day in bed because i cant sleep at night and even trying to sleep today wasn't much of an improvement. so now i'm waiting for a sleeping pill to try and work its magic and if it can't then i dunno. i dont have a chronic sleeping problem, but for the last few years i've had issues sleeping in the fall. last year i averaged about three hours a night for about a month between october and november. it gets a little fucking annoying. i get moody, i cant function, my mind goes off in random directions, and i get cranky at people. it doesn't much help when there's not really anyone in town that i talk to anymore which basically leaves my family getting the brunt of it.

im going to move to WordPress when i get back to vancouver. danielle's already started. BUT I KNOW SHE'LL BE A PAL AND WAIT SO WE CAN HAVE A GEEKY BLOGGIN PARTY WHEN I GET BACK CAUSE SHE SAID SO, RIGHT?

yeah, i like that i can still geek out wih people. raul has also offered some help, which i'll probably take him up on cause he's cool like that.

i took this fucking pill like 40 minutes ago and it feels like jack shit is going on.

maybe im immune to sleeping pills. that'd be weird. at least no one could ever drug me then.

i got some good feedback from my thesis supervisor about the latest update i sent him, which makes me feel way better. seriously, i'd been wracking my brain for ideas to put in to make sense and going nuts about it, but it seems like it paid off. whatever it was that i did...

i'm not sure what i'll do tomorrow...either plunk down some more analysis in the thesis, or bum around, head over to see some old teachers maybe. i have dinner with some famil friends tomorrow which should be good times.

that song that goes like that


i have a headache, when i bit my tongue the other day it never healed an now it fucking hurts like hell when i eat, the Oil are coming apart at the seams, and too many goddamn people are getting fucking married.


i havent had a decent sleep in days. i have no idea why. when i try it sounds like there's a war novel going off in my head or something. it is no fun at all.

this morning, after yet another craptastic sleep, i had to get up early (ie...8:30...) cause my mom signed us up to go wrap stuff for Santa's Anonymous. all the way across the city. sans breakfast. but it was ok cause my dad and i figured we'd just wrap stuff for all the little dudes cause there were like twenty people there wrapping stuff and besides us, there was one other guy. so you can imagine how unlikely it is that the majority of present package things for little dudes actually made sense. i mean really, a stuffed bear, a car and crayons? how about a big ass Nerf gun, a set of LEGO and a monster truck. yeah. sounds about right.
it was weird though, cause i started to notice that the people volunteering would stick to a certain age group and hoard stuff for them. like, going to pick out all the good stuff for 7 year old girls and piling it up on their tables. so, yeah, i might have done that with the LEGO and nerf guns, but come on. you cannot mix stuff with lego that makes no sense to be mixed with it and that is a fact.
you know what else i discovered? little girls get loads of shit donated. little guys, they get jack fucking shit. it gets a little annoying having to sort through three fucking crates of barbies to find one batman toy. seriously, how hard is it to buy a spiderman toy or a batmobile or something that shoots stuff to donate? i bet a lot easier than buying the $30 barbie sets fifty times over. im pretty sure the ones my dad and i wrapped are gonna be fan favourites when they're opened cause there's no goddamn bears in them. lego, super heroes and things to shoot. you cant argue with that. i still buy those things.

we taught the parents how to play guitar hero tonight. it took a while before moving up to Easy, but it was entertaining.

i bit the side of my tongue or something and it hurts like hell.

now i will sleep and try to actually get a decent sleep so i can get up rested and tackle another chunk of thesis tomorrow.

nothing in here starts with q


so this random stolen wireless signal from the neighbours is deciding to suck right now, but it's still working enough so that it's not a complete waste of time.
i haven't had much time to go take pictures of anything. mostly because i havent been going to bed til 3am and sleep in til 10 or 11 then get up and go to the library to work on the thesis and then it's dark out.
in the morning i have to get up early cause we're going to wrap presents for Santa's Anonymous.
ok, so apparently if you pluralize Santa, blogger tells you it's a spelling mistake. maybe it's like Highlander? THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE...santa CLAWS!!!!



i thought the week was going by real fast til i looked at the calendar this morning and was like "WTF? christmas is way the hell next thursday? goddamn that's a long time..."

my zip jacket/sweater thing smells like dog drool. cause it got drooled on hardcore tonight having dinner when a very curious nose was trying to explore my pulled pork sammich.

fyi, again, not my dog. neighbour's dog. except that it pretty much half lives at my parent's place so it's the closest thing to a dog we've got. just so long as i dont have to clean up any dog shit or barf. i still want a pug. cause they're awesome and funny and LOOKIT THEIR FACE!

see more puppies

see more puppies

see more puppies

see more puppies

see more puppies

see more puppies

see more puppies

see more puppies

you shoud give farts a chance


three hours into the first bit of work i've done at home. im at the public library. there's a big ass window next to me which i rather enjoy seeing as how my corner in the lab at harbour center never sees daylight. i've manage to put about half of my results into tables in the text... except that they look like absolute crap, but i'll worry about style or formatting ro whatever later. i've hit that point where i start to bounce around between sections, i add a few sentences here, then move up to a diferent part and add some there and repeat.
tomorrow i might go to the UofA to work, i dunno. i dont really know where anything is there. plus there's public wifi at the library and im not so sure about there.
there's also the fact that it's fucking freezing here and im not sure if i can take any vehicle there and leave it sit there for eight hours and still have it start. that would be uber lame.
my mind is starting to wander more than it should.

one four one one

so when i dropped my laptop going through security, something made this little scratch on the monitor that looks like a little hair is stuck to it, but it won't go away and it's driving me nuts. also, our tree is physical proof that Jews and Christmas can decorate each other in harmony. Danielle, make sure you show that to your mom. yes, by heritage, no, there is no practicing of anything of any kind in our household ever. just in case you didn't know.

i had thought about hitting up the UofA tomorrow to get some work done, but it's sunday and it's fucking cold here and everything will be closed, so i'll either work here or at the library in some back corner or something. im getting bored of being bored, even if that's for like a day and a half and i'm starting to feel the 'need-to-get-work-done' brain itch.

i found $30 in dimes and quarters today. i also can't sleep in my room for the first week im here cause my sister is working nights and has to sleep in the basement so no one wakes her up during the day. so this means that i have to choose between watching tv, or sitting up here where there's actually a wireless signal, not both. if i could sleep in my room then i could do both at the same time cause this is the most random signal ever and for some reason it likes some rooms and not others and not necessarily in the way that you;d think a wireless signal would work. like, on the side of the house where i think it's coming from it's pretty good. in the middle, not so much. on the far side of the house away from where i think it's coming from, it's also pretty strong. its like the signal stops in the kitchen to take a break or something.

im glad that in suburbia people still have not learned to lock their networks down. the amily computer has a virus that they say they had taken off, but i should probably not forget to mention this tomorrow cause it's still there. thus is the genius thing when transfering files on a CF card from camera to family computer then to my mac. like, oh hey random siva.tmp file, im pretty sure you're that MSN virus aren't you? ah, too bad you can't hide on my computer. i think i'll just go ahead and throw you away.

i'd like to reiterate that TV here is complete shit. at least in Vancouver I can watch two different episodes of South Park or Futurama back to back on channels that are one number apart instead of watching the same single episode two hours apart on hugely different channels. but i guess that's ok cause OMNI just started here apparently, so it's only a matter of time before the whole schedule changes.

ah, and of course where would i be without mentioning AHAHAHAH OILERS WIN IN A SHUTOUT AHAHAHAHA TOLD YOU YOU'D GO DOWN TONIGHT BITCH! also, yeah, on Wednesday, same thing.

the calendar's run dry


it's COLD!

there is snow.

there is ice.

there is BACON.

i should write an Ode To Bacon at some point... and i'll call it An Ode To Bacon. well, I can't call it Pork or Oink or anything like that because that leaves out beef and turkey bacon. i should probably sleep cause i have to run around town with my dad tomorrow, and my spelling skills are taking such a nosedive that it's taken me a few times to write this out mostly error free i hope.

there is a shelf on the wall rigt above my head that looks like it is going to fall on me at any second and it is no comfort to me knowing that im sleeping under it.


Originally uploaded by sopheava
'I know a town where people are running
Away from life - it seems always funny
They think they are smart
Don't doubt what they say
Scared of a change
Existing only'

Attention por favor: sh!thawks.onparade has now flown the coop to its seasonal migratory home in Edmonton. Dry skin, black ice, and exploding books are sure to follow. please note that it shall return to Vancouver in time for the New Year and plan accordingly.

believe in resistance


i have my suitcase open, empty, sitting on the floor beside me. usually when i go home, i take my duffel bag, but this time i'm taking this suitcase.
i should have it half filled by now. i should be moving things around in it, taking things off hangers to fold them up in it. but im not. i know i've been afflicted with the odd reminder of Dhaka over the last few months, but somehow seeing this suitcase open, empty, sitting on the floor, it seems strange to fill it again. it's only ever been filled once after i bought it in Gulshan and hauled it back to the flat with Nick. the last time i packed stuff in this suitcase it was to leave what i can only say was the best experience i have ever had in my life.
you think it's weird that a suitcase gets this kind of reaction? i do. i think it's right fucked up. but it's still sitting there, empty and i can't quite bring myself to put anything in it just yet.
i had it up against the wall after it was full. Bimala tried lifting it and told me i had too much stuff. she came to the airport with me when i left and i didn't turn around one last time.
things have odd connections, odd implications.
things have an odd way of never quite leaving your mind alone.

on a completely different note...

you should take your last opportunity to throw your vote in to the mix for the Best of 604 awards hosted by Rebecca Bollwitt. if you're heading to the awards reception, then have a good one. i'll be OCDing my way through my room making sure i've packed everything four or five times.

like nickles at night


my breakfast this morning consisted of leftover spaghetti with meat sauce and egg nog because i only have one bagel left, no milk, and i haven't yet reached the point where i feel the necessity to have my cheerios with beer. besides, i need to get rid of the food i have before friday cause i don't want it sitting in the fridge for two weeks while i freeze my ass off at home.

i dont know how cold it is there or how cold it will be, but chances are it'll be warmer than here, therefore credibility is lent to that assumption.


i found what can only be described as an amazing tool to make what can only be described as amazing diagrams for things. i'm sure there are much simpler ways built in to the program that would have cut the time i used in half, but whatever. dragging and dropping every piece of a tree diagram in the exact place where you want it and having it look cool is good enough for me.

if this thesis were based solely on tree diagrams, i'd have it in the fucking bag.

i wasn't sure how much i'd be abe to get done today. my sleeping pattern has reverted to semi nocturnal where i dont go to bed until at least 3am, have the alarm go off at 9am, and get up around 10. i can generally tell when i wake up if i think i'll be productive in a given day. i wasn't so sure today, but i had to come pick up a document on hold at the library so i came down here anyway. good thing too, cause i found that ConceptDraw thing, pieced that diagram together, sorted through more of my survey data, and started to get some more ideas rolling as to how to put it all together.

im going to have to actually start doing some writing at some point, and not just playing with data, but whatever. it'll get done. small victories.

today i actually used this phrase when talking with one of the other guys in my program:

"im so out of the loop, it's a straight line."

usually the mail gets to my place between 10am and 11am. so usually i open the door at 11 to see if anything is there. if im home. yet day after day after day after day, nada. i mention this because i believe i was supposed to get mail slash package before heading to dhaka, but then i left before it was mailed, and then it was supposed to get here after i got back. so each day i check and it's not there, i die a little on the inside. yes. see, postal workers dont have to go...well...postal to do that.

on a totally different note, i believe im coming to the conclusion that mixing egg nog with food, while delicious, produces mostly unwanted gurgling stomach noises and burps.

ignoring what needs to be designed