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sh!thawks...on parade: 05.2006

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Dear Air Canada:
You are the shittiest airline to ever exist. Even shittier than Canada 3000 or Delta Airlines.
When my mom wanted to come visit me in Vancouver she got to the airport and you cancelled her flight and didnt even book her a new one. You didn't reimburse her at all.
When my sister wanted to come home from China last night and you put her and my 87 year old grandpa on the plane for four hours and didnt move and then told them that the flight was cancelled you didn't get a better track record. You made my sister cry so for that i hope that you go into bankruptcy, again, and die a horrible fucking death and everyone will laugh and say "haha! there goes Air Canada, and it's taking Celine down with it!"

Dear West Jet:
Please start service to Beijing because you dont suck at all.


i feel better today. it was a lazy ass day, but it was a good day. here's about how it broke down:
7:25 - get to SAP
7:30 - sit in shop for 20 minutes while we all shoot the shit
7:50 - put out high jump mats with sheena
8:20 - take golf cart out to diamond #4, look at grass, talk to leslie for a while
8:30 take X-Mark out to diamond #4 and cut the infield
9:00 - load up back of truck with stuff to take over to Millenium Place with Wayne and Ellert
9:30 - coffee break #1
9:45 - head out to Millenium with Ellert and Wayne. drive by three timmy's trying to find the shortest line.
10:00 - drive to Public Services Yard to pick up cushman to drive over to Millenium fields
10:30 - unknowingly drive right by the Oilers in the parking lot of Millenium where they were practicing today. it was pretty funny cause there was a buttload of millenium place workers out in vests telling people they couldnt park in the rear lot and i come flying by in the cushman and they just get out of the way to let me by. should have slowed down and taken a look to see if i could have said hi to someone...
10:40 - attach metal drag mat to cushman and spin doughnuts in a pile of dirt for 45 minutes. yes. spin doughnuts. legitimately. it was epic. and you have to consider that the cushman is a shitty fucking open air turf vehicle with a crappy turning radius, but if you stand on the passenger side, floor the gas, put it in 2nd gear, lean way over to the right and crank the wheel right as hard as you fucking can, it just about goes on two wheels but it gets the job done.
11:30 - put flags out to mark all the valve boxes for the fields
11:45 - take cushman over to the Science Park...never fucking doing that shit again. it goes like 40 and you have to take it through the industrial area where the speed limit is 70 and there are huge fucking big rigs coming from every which way.
12:10 - pull into science park. spit grit and dist out of mouth.
12:20 - hop back into truck with ellert and wayne. go to Sobe's to get lunch.
12:30 - back to SAP for lunch
12:45 - get ready to go back over to the science park to drop wayne off so he can pick up a tractor and seeder.
12:50 - Jim comes over and says we're having a short tailgate meeting in which he says that we're pretty much going to war with Turf Maintenance over equipment.
1:00 - Dick (foreman) comes out and tells us that there's a dead goose at Broadmoor lake, and wayne and i need to use masks gloves and full body paper coveralls to pick it up, bag it and toss it cause Fish and Wildlife cant be bothered to drive over for 5 minutes and do it.
1:05 - Jim says to also pick up the mail at the Rec office. finally leave.
1:15 - take truck off road in the park. find dead goose. bag dead goose. go pick up mail...there is no mail...ok...leave for science park.
1:40 - get to science park, ellert is already there with another tractor. the seeder is supposed to be ready. it wont fit on the tractor we want to use right. 6 county workers stand around tractor and seeder for a good hour trying to make it fit better.
2:30ish - head back over to millenium with wayne. pick weeds off big fucking pile of dirt.
3:30 - back to SAP.
4:00 - go home.

it isnt always this lax...a lot of the time...not always.

on the way back to SAP from millenium wayne asked if i had a blog. i said ya. he said he didnt really understand what motivates people to have them. so i told him about my sociology paper i did on the creation of online communites and cultures focusing on the blogosphere. he seemed intruiged.


from one of my readings:

"Tenacity is explained as firmly held views, authority as the word of someone important, and intuition speaks for itself- none of these can be serious contenders in justifying the existence of knowledge." (Tribe, 1997)

i think this is a fucking brilliant assertion. at first it kind of threw me off because of the assertation that an authoritative source can't be considered as conclusive proof of any sort of knowledge. pretty much every communication and sociology class i've ever taken has told me that primary, or authoritative, sources are the best kind to use to back up a statement with hard facts and truths. but then i thought about it, and realized that this statement is right. why is it important? who says that it's important? who makes who said it an important person? let's say a famous physicist says something about the structure of the universe and everyone agrees that it's the truth. for a student of cultural studies why is this important? how is it real knowledge if it's a mathematical assumption? likewise, how is McLuhan's idea of a global village important to the physicist? the physicist didnt make McLuhan important, and might in fact be able to counter a global village idea with a mathematical formula of societal structure. so what's left of the structure of knowledge that's been created on both sides? if each one can effectively argue that neither is actual fact, does that in essence mean that no knowledge is real knowledge?

if tenacity is a firmly held belief then are all evangelists ministers of truth? maybe they arent an authoritative source, but tenacity holds knowledge to bear. it keeps it afloat in a world of constant criticism. what if Einstein hadnt had the tenacity to work on Relativity? where would that leave us? but tenacity is only an opinion so it can't be true knowledge. the same goes for intuition.

so after i read that and reflected on it i agreed with it. the simplest way i can explain this is thusly:

you take a deductive statement. you say that your deductive statement is the truth, it is representative of a body of knowledge. someone comes along and simply says "no, you're wrong." you're deductive statetment suddenly becomes an inference because now there's an alternate opinion. and i know that people will argue that a deductive statement is arrived at after you look at all the cases available but that doesnt mean they're going to last forever. ie: twenty years ago scientists deduced that black holes did not exist. today they agree they do. destruction of deduction. evolution of knowledge is dependant on the constant breakdown of it by alternate ideas.

ok...enough of that...

we get to look after the dog next door this week. chocolate lab names Jersey. im not ususally a dog person anymore but this dog is ok. im gonna go sit outside now.

we're not lazy, we're municipal workers


What have I done?
Where have I come from?
When I burnt the backs with the sun through a glass
did I seal the loss that's become me?
Feeling undone
What have I become?
When I turned my back on you I turned my back on
myself and became this machine
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Shadows in the sun
Filter through us
Still wrestle the demons that arrested me as a child
Confession rejected
We grow up
To give up
People step on the cracks for wounds owed paid back
Through the words of surrender
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Can you save me?
From myself
From these memories
Can you save me?
From myself
From these memories
To the shadows
Haunting inside
Bleed through you
Surrender to the secretes...inside
Lies within you
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Can't feel you on the inside
Set down the bag and left it
Lost memory has left me
One again
Open up the inside
Admission for the cleansing
Now that I've forgotten to remember
To the shadows
Haunting inside
Bleed through you
-forget to remember

inspiration in the strangest of places

im trying to convince myself im in a better mood than i really am. i think today i went through every emotion possible at least once. it's one of those days where everything outwardly is fine, but inside you're scrambling around to pick up the pieces or fix things up or whatever.
one of the more annoying aspects of life is that when it fucking kicks you in the teeth you cant really kick back at anything cause there's not really anything to make contact with.
i know that one of the reasons is that i pulled out a box from the storage room last night cause i was looking for the rest of my LEGO...fuck off it's still cool...and happened to find the one box with all my pictures from high school and two years in ottawa. when it takes two years to pretty much make things right in your head after being pretty much forcefully taken away from something, seeing images of it isnt always the greatest thing in the world.
it was weird cause i was looking at all these pictures and getting...i dunno...not sad...kind of mad i guess...but then i was listening to RHCP and it's hard to be in a bad mood when theyre on.
i should get that box out of my's like a fucking black hole that sucks all the fun out of here. granted that's not the only reason for the not so great moodishness, but im not getting into the other one cause it needs to be put back into it's little hidey hole in my head and left there so it doesnt fucking bother me.

i should just go out to whyte ave after an oilers win and fucking throw and burn shit and just totally rid myself of all this crap...but then i might get arrested, so i probly wont. meh...c'est la vie. life's a bitch and then you die. some people find that phrase incredibly insulting. i have no idea why, i think it's pretty funny and true.

i have a bunch of songs i wrote up on my buzznet so go listen.

i miss being on campus 24/7. it's more fun. this basement is starting to drive me crazy. my window is too small for a room with someone living in it according to the fire department, so if my house burns down and you dont hear from me, you'll know why.

im starting to get back into the reading groove. some of my sociology readings for this tourism class are pretty cool. when i finish a few more i'll say something clever about them.

i totally just thought of something clever that doesnt have to do with sociology.

"That's the way the cookie crumbles. Unless you're Cookie Monster."

cant remember how this got started


dear soccer tournament: i hate you. you clog the parking lot on the day im at work alone, you make a mess of the fields, you turn drivers into retards, and make me stay overtime cause the dude in charge cant remember to leave the key at the park.
dear overtime pay: i love that i get 10 hours of you this week which means an extra $200.

now that that's out of the way...

so i get home, turn on me compy, took a shower, came back into my room, saw that barbara had added me to msn. at least i think she did cause when i clicked the mouse everything went fucking B-A-N-A-N-A-S BANANAS! soooo...if'n you did, and want to add me again and this time ill give my screen an evil eye if it starts to act

then when i reboot, i check Cheese. i check cheese stats and i swear to god i thought i was looking at the wrong site meter page. who goes from like around 40 hits a day to over 1500? insaaaaaane!
then i checks Email. got one from Pierce, Tony Pierce (ooooo james bond like) about the anthem video from Game Four. aha, sudden steroid like jump in visitors to the havarti of the internet solved. thanx for the linkage dude! it totally stinks that he got canned by buzznet! wtf? who would do that? retards.

im eating homemade pizza...i have three slices...ok two cause i ate dad just came in a put down a bowl of pudding and now i cant decide whether to continue with the pizza eating or start on the pudding...

so while i was directing a gong show of traffic what were others up to i wonder...

playing with lego
visiting the dump
smuggling grapes
swimming in pee
flying over cuckoos feel better btw.
taking in his daily protein
quoting greeks
rejoicing merrily because edmonton won
playing with fruit
starting up the personals
tuning his engine

so im lazy. admit it, you are too a lot.

how about a bite of pizza then a bite of pudding...that works...alternate.

i think that parking lots cause people to degenerate into subhumanoids. seriously, think about it. theres a big event, the lot is full, but people insist on fucking circling and circling and circling, driving around in their fucking hummers and suvs trying to fit into a parking space meant for a fiesta. GO PARK IN THE OTHER FUCKING PARKING LOT THAT ISNT FULL AND HAS MORE WIDE OPEN SPACE FOR YOUR BIG PIECE OF SHIT WASTE OF METAL!!!

even the idle threat of sicking county bylaw on them doesnt always deter them. my job description doesnt say anything about parking enforcement, but i end up doing it anyway cause if i dont the fucking place will go to shit.

this is a brilliant idea and you should all take part.

i watched the oilers kill teh ducks with ally last night. after the game we were talking and she said that im lucky cause i have a good life and have always had a good life. she didnt think she was so lucky. i told her i thought she was, she has a cool ass little girl who knows how to cheer for the oilers, an amazing poet and is starting her own business. im a student still semi living in my parents basement, i cut grass to pay for school, and am starting to believe im destined to be a permanent student. i guess it all depends on what your take on lucky is.
im pretty sure two years ago when i had to move out west again i wouldnt have said i was lucky.
im pretty sure when i had to let ash go because of that i would have told you to fuck off if you mentioned i was lucky.
its weird, cause im starting to settle into a comfprtable little zone in my head, and in four months it'll burst again and things get to start again. i think i'll be able to deal better this time though cause in the last two years i think ive learned how to mellow out and just take the world as it comes at me. dont worry be happy ya'll.
fuck i just said y'all...dude...
i used to hate saying dude. i remember the interim years after the end of the 80s and the mid 90s when no one would have dared say that word.


im out for now. go sabres.

where are all the soccer moms?


cooked duck on the menu tonight!

weeeeeee are the chaaaampions my friends

let it be duely noted that anaheim has no chance in hell of ever coming close to pulling this off.

And any argument that the US national anthem is better is fucking moot. Canadian hockey fans do not boo the US anthem, and we appreciate the fact that the singing of the anthem is supposed to get the crowd going, not lull them to sleep as is the case with a lot of the games in the U.S.

and as far as flags go, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Canadians actually know the history of our flag.

sorry betsy ross you lose.

so, football fan forums can now plainly see who is the better nation here.

dear anaheim: you'll never be as cool as this


ok, if you want to see X3 and dont want to get mad because reading this will make you mad that you find out some of what happens stop reading after this sentence.



if i was a film critic i'd give it a 7 out of 10. im not a film critic but im still gonna give it a 7 out of 10.
good, but not as good as it should have been.
i know that there was a lot of trouble getting a director for the movie. i think some more time should have been invested into finding some better writers.
i fucking hate it when they take plot lines that have been written and are a hugely important part of the real story line THATS ALREADY BEEN FUCKING TOLD IN THE COMIC BOOK ASSHOLES and have their way with them.
this movie basically wrote out Cyclops and Professor X.
this movie pretty much ignores everything that happend in X2. the constant search that Wolverine is on to find out who he really is? screw that, hand him a cigar. the fact that Mystique was impersonating the Senator? nope, let's just all of a sudden capture her instead. Nightcrawler? who? An entirely different President and white hosue staff that seems to have ignored everything about what happened in the second movie? sure why not.
oh, i know, let's randomly insert Arcangel, have him realize he wants to stay a mutant, not hear from him for almost the whole movie and all of a sudden show up to save his dad only to disappear again.
Rogue plays a pretty minimal role. stupid decision. cures herself? whoever wrote that in should be fucking shot.
this movie felt sort of campy, but in a refined way. not campy like most of the batman movies. more...campy as in the people who wrote it didnt ever fucking read an X-Men comic in their lives and only wrote what people told them to.
and then there's Dark Pheonix.
the most powerful mutant ever, and pretty much she stands there a lot.
and lesson to wolverine:
when a hot woman psychic mutant can rip your clothes off with her mind, you dont say no. if you say no, she goes fucking psycho and bad things happen. see Logan? if you'd just let her have her way with you none of this would have happened.
and why is it that Magneto's army had to look like it was made up of bad ripoffs of a nine inch nail fans?
and as far as i can remember, Mystique is never ever cured.
Magneto cannot be cured, that would fucking ruin the franchise.
good thing theres that oh so subtle but oh so obvious tip off at the end that "oh my god theres going to have to be another movie now!"
plus i heard Gambit was supposed to be in this one. nope.
juggernaut? hmm...k...props there.
Beast...hello X-FACTOR not X-MEN. get your comics straight.
i think there are too many "instant solutions" in this movie. you know, the parts where all of a sudden someone shows up, or all of a sudden they know what to do?
cinematics, tres cool.
it'll be interesting to see what happens with the next one after they killed off three major characters, fucked up a whole bunch of other ones, and everything is all of a sudden happy and ok with all the people of the world.
i liked Over the Hedge better than this. definitely out of the three movies i put his one in third place.
the most annoying thing that i find about it is how "oh no! wolverine you have to sacrifice jean!" but then of course there's the fact that you know, jean eventually manages to destroy herself because of the Phoenix powers in the actual story. but then again, theres the fact that Dark Phoenix isnt really Jean Grey, but a sort of clone while Jean Grey is actually in a protective and healing coccoon type thing under water.
k, nerdly yes. whatever.
go see the damn movie.

isnt X3 the model of a car?


holy fuck what a boring tiring shitty goddamn long ass day.
rained. rained more. fucking took WHMIS training...again...
watched more safety videos...which ive seen for three years in a row.
tired as hell..."go put those field hockey nets together"...they dont have the right instructions or same pieces...
"go edge a little patch of grass at broadmoor lake park." isn't little...and it's soaked...and muddy, and the one side we did looks like shit cause it's wet and soaked and shitty out.

i wanted to go somewhere to watch the game tonight, but im tired and might crash after the game and everyone else is already busy.

couch and i get to be friends again. bright side, my mom isnt going to be home for the game so there isnt going to be any running commentary that annoys the fuck out of me.

im gonna go see X3 tomorrow. cause it'll be rainy and wet out which means no going down to the red deer river valley to go prospecting. but i did get my schedule for the rest of the summer and i have like 4 three day weekends so im happy about that.
i want someone to come visit me so that i can have a not so boring weekend this weekend. or for someone here to not be busy or something.

i went for a bike ride last night for like an hour and a half. im glad we didnt have to do any real work today because i would have sucke at it im so friggin dead tired. seriously, going up and down stairs im like "oooooh legs....why are you mad at me?"
i want to sleep, but i have to watch the hockey game or i'll not be hapy with myself.

the first cut is the deepest


ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish Chef.

other than the oilers winning game three, the two bestest things in the world have happened in the last two days.

AC 26 is finally here!!! GO LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW! no...RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
tell me that bunny snuggles opening ISNT catchy. if you dont do a random dance to that, then you arent a true AC fan.


bloop! i've got mail! the bloop noise is that bloop noise that aol has....yeah...lame...
i get home from work and there a nifty little package waiting for me from danielle and now i have a koala bear and a letter that was written in an admittedly ghetto fashion. YoYo D-Dawwwg! whutUP? payce!

i have to get working on my sociology. so im gonna go read like 4 chapters tonight and then start on the course wear readings. and then this weekend i might go for a late night essay session and get most of the first one out of the way. whats it on anyway....ah dammit....postmodern tourist situations....fucking tourists....

i made up a song at work today while i was painting lines, but i dont really remember how it went but i know that theres a part that goes "TUUUUUUUUUNA TUNATUNATUNA!!!!!"
meh, i'll work on it.

i think that she munched his nilla wafer


holy intense third period batman! not to mention holy shitload of penalty minutes in the first batman! one more win and edmonton clinches the West and heads off to clinch the Cup.

i managed to get a case of Foot-In-Mouthage last night with another oilers nut. but in the end everyone was happily ever after. or amused about having nerdily talked about politics and hockey. i kind of miss getting into random political discussions.

i got to remember all about certain Foreign Affair ministers who i got nice and drunk with and see hungover the next morning. and certain current liberal leadership contenders who admitted in a drunken stupor that had he met joanna ten years ago she could have changed his life. or certain ndp members with large bar tabs supplying minors with plenty of booze.


it pissed rain this afternoon at work. it made puddles. i jumped in several of them. i got water up my shirt, and in my boots and all over other people. it's supposed to be rainy and crappy the rest of the week. which im sure wont deter the happy revelers on whyte ave a bit.

canada post is being stupid again. i guess i was supposed to get a nifty little mail thing from danielle last week and it hasnt shown up yet. GIVE ME MY MAIL YOU STUPID POSTAL PEOPLE!!!

i have two ideas i want to develop for a masters thesis. but im hesitant to tell people because im a bit paranoid that someone is going to read/hear it and then go "gee thats a good idea i'm gonna beat you to it." and then i'd be pissed off. and i know they're good ideas cause my promotional culture prof this past semester said that she didnt think anyone had ever thought about researching them. SO IM NOT TELLING BUT THEYRE GOOD IDEAS!!!

ok, im gonna go eat some cake and watch comedy now with Pete something who i saw the last ten minutes of last week and now the whole show is on.

puddles and paints


never ever believe someone when they tell you that a magic bullet is a good thing to make a tuna sandwhich with...unless you happen to like tuna purée.
instead of sitting around here being bored, i decided to go to southgate shopping center to be bored. after i got bored wandering around in one of the many temples of consumerism in the city and finding nothing to my liking, i drove over to whyte ave to wander around there.
ended up going to Avenue Guitars and playing a nice PRS Soapbar SE for a bit.
then i wandered in and out of the trendy little stores that adorn the street, and still found nothing to my liking. except the PRS. but then again, not having enough money in me bank account to buy it at the moment, i came home empty handed.
today is the madre's birthday. cake tonight. caaaaaaaake caaaaaaaake caaaaaaake.
i even walked in to the Buffalo store at southgate and looked at stuff for like 15 minutes and still didnt buy anything. HAH! self control!
i only have to work three days this week. tickets to game four on thursday are fucking gonzo. looks like i get to try to grab some for the Cup finals.
star trek TNG is on. it's on with Q in it. in my opinion, the whole star trek series is better with Q in them. im not sure if Q is in enterprise though....somehow i doubt it.
when you think about it, Q is pretty much god.
and apparently there's a Blade tv series now???

when i was walking around in southgate there was a sign by the food court IN the mall advertising FOR the mall that said "connected to a feeling" and my brain went "GASP!!! a direct reference to the use of emotional attachments in consumer commodities to cause a belief in our minds that we're better off when we consumer consume consume!!!"

tuuuuuuuna, tuna fish! tuuuuna tuna fishYYYYYYYYYYYY!

a day of conspicuous consumption


once when i was a kid i went to the playground at my school and tried to act out the to be or not to be scene from hamlet all by myself. i yelled really loud and did it for a while, but i'm sure it cemented the fact that im not a movie start mostly for the fact that i didnt know how that part went beyond "to be or not to be". i guess i didnt impress anyone in the neighbourhood with my random improv of it either cause no one came out of their houses to clap or anything.
i also had one of those little plastic fake knives where the blade is spring loaded so when you stab something the balde went back into the handle.
kid...atop playground equipment...yelling...making stabbing one comes out of houses. my neighbourhood is so fucking bored it wont even watch that.

mighty Oil typhoon of edmonton unleashed much bushido rage on peking ducks of disney anaheim this night. the great Rolo-San guarded net with patience of samurai, and mighty warriors Pronger-san and Peca-san make unworthy opponents pay for being on ice.

i didn't manage to get tix to game 3. i only have to work three days this week. game four is thursday. i have friday off. hootenany! hoedown! hootenany!

the season finale of Family Guy is on. the season finale of Family Guy is the Family Guy movie. how fucking lazy is that?

i have a webcam stalker now. oh well, it's by choice i guess lol.
i have a bunch of readig to catch up on for my soc class but have no motivation to do it. how bad is that? im complaining that i have nothing to do and i have readings and an essay to do.
i like GTA 3 more. i can get a PS2 for 129$. i might get one and Halo 2.
oooooooo Titan A.E. is on! fuck i loooooove that movie! i should get the dvd...i have it on vhs...or i could torrent it...

i bought new hiking boots at MEC today. it's a pair of $210 boots. they cost me $9.

apparently i have some mail coming my way. i like mail.

three, three ducks missed the puck ha ha ha!


i sunburned my nose a bit at work this week.
not badly, but enough so that it's constantly itchy.
like 24/7 constant feels-like-i-need-to-scratch-my-nose-or-blow-it-or-something and it gets annoying.
so, day 1 of the three day weekend was pretty much a gongshow.
pretty much stayed in my room and watched all the current season 6 episodes of Trailer Park Boys. went for vietnamese food with the rents...which actually this time i didnt enjoy all that much. every time we go for asian food my parents order the same goddamn things. i could tell you what they're gonna order even before we get out the damn door. and everytime they ask me to pick something different they veto it and go with whatever they always eat.
went to see Over the Hedge with julia and tara and julia's friend melissa.
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good!
and now im sitting back in my room.
it's raining out.
there are large puddles in the roads.
i generally enjoy sitting outside in the rain, but it's cold out.
it's fun to sit out in it when it's warm and watch all the people run around in crazy circles trying to find some way to avoid it.
it's water.
i should have planned out this weekend better. it's pretty fucking boring here if you don't have anything to do.
ive never really been the kind of person who on weekends would go "WOOO LET'S GET DRUNK!!!" but i think that might be in order pretty quick here. only, i really have no idea whatsoever of the pub/club/bar scene in edmonton. none. i know that there's a place on whyte ave that's pretty much an exact replica of The Cabin in ottawa, but everything is on the opposite wall...i kind of remember where the King's Knight pub is...but really...not two places id pick to go spend an evening drinking. probly there's some good places on whyte. or there's always a bush party.
i've never busted out Really Drunk Pat at home before. tomorrow is 80s night at Barrymore's. its a 5 hour flight away. totally worth it. i was driving back from dropping alana off at the rez at the uof a last week and on my way back i hit a red light next to a cab with three drunk chicks in it who rolled the windows down and started oogling at me.
a) i have nothing wrong with three drunk chicks in a cab oogling and winking at me.
b) ive also never been a person who's engaged much in a nightlife on a regular basis so stuff like this still catches me off guard. so...roll down window and give hopefully not too awkward smile... light changes....ok gone.
some of my friends have absolutely no trouble talking to girls at clubs or bars or whatever. i think i can count the number ive talked to four years.
i have no idea where this is going. yay for rants i guess.
i priced out a pair of gucci sunglasses the other day. then i priced out a game 3 ticket. then i priced out a PRS SE Singlecut. the prs won out.
i also have a bag of Spitz in my room. this is proving to be far more puzzling than it ought to be simply because i have no empty vessel to spit them in to.
might as well blow some shit up GTA 3 style.

i filled the log! and i found my nuts!

you know those times when there's something happening at night, but you're not really sure where you're going to end up taking part?
it's a half hour til the puck drops for game 1 of the Western final and since on one is answering their friggin phones, i'm still not sure if i'll be sitting in here watching the game or hauling ass over to Average Joe's to watch.
let's weigh the pros and cons:
pros of staying home:
compy. free food.
pros of going:
more people. nachos. 14 big screens.
cons of staying home:
no people. no nachos. one small tv.
cons of going:
no free food. trying to find a table.
im glad i can sleep in tomorrow. by about 2:30 today my body decided that it was going to cease all effort at working. we're talking, adrenaline storehouse shutdown, you want to collapse or fall alseep on your feet in two seconds stoppage.
at some point during the day mike's phone rings and he's on for like 30 seconds and when he hangs up he jumps up in the air and goes "woooooo!"
and im like "um...."
and he's like "i have a ticket to game 3"
my mom just came in and tried to find candy in my room. not bloody likely.
fifteen minutes to puck drop....looks like im staying here. for the first period at least.
at least its an early game...ppl might be up for doing stuff after.
ive got three days off. i plan to sleep in. and read sociology.
what an exciting weekend i have planned.
actually, i think julia is maybe having a partay type thing tomo night...i should find out for sure.
i also discovered today that if you eat Spitz for a very long time eventually you lose all ability to taste anything. i never was any good at the whole Spitz thing. i can do one at a time. people who can chew a whole mouthful mystify me. it's like some strange power.
my sister is in china for two weeks. maybe tomorrow i'll go drive around town for a while.
there's thins thing on CBC news right now about how gardeners are happy about global warming because they can plant their gardens earlier...what the fuck? some old ladies need something better to do...
you know who has really good commercials? Dairy Queen.
ooop...brain cramp...
five minutes to puck drop...
time to go find a snack.


it's easy to lose oneself


i think all this edging of ball diamonds we're doing at work has like some weird adverse effect on the flow of time.
it's not even 7 yet. holy fuck it feels like the world is just dragging it's goddamn feet tonight.
i think my body will hate me tomorrow. in fact im sure of it.
i'll wake up and it'll be all "oh, so you want to move without feeling sore? WELL TOO BAD!! TAKE THIS!!!!!!"
and i'll be all "uuuuuunnnnhhhhhhhhh...."
and then it'll be all "hah! i'll make you too tired to go watch the game!"
and i'll be all "if you do that i'll start to fucking exercise bitch."
and it'll be all "goddamn you!"
i get enough exercise at work. the bobcat was MIA today so to fill the dump bed of the progator we backed up to this huge fucking pile of shale and used shovels. i felt like i was in a dragon boat race.
ive managed to get through three and a half chapters of my Sociology textbook so far. academia ruins everything, which i dont mind, but anyone who wants to continue to live in the nice little bubble constructed for them by desperate houswives and the doctors with hearts of gold should stay the fuck away from university. or at least stay away from an arts degree that specializes in cultural studies.
which brings me to the pictures. sorry for the shoddy shots. anyway. i get my new rollingstone, which i generally like cause it likes to bash republicans, and it's issue 1000. and i hate it. the amount of self advertising in conjunction with cultural producers in this issue is mind boggling. two and three page spreads of heineken plus RS and this and that and RS make RS and this and that better cause they go together.
it took me a while to figure out that the back cover was for Target. who the fuck gave Target the hologram back cover of rollingstone? WHAT THE FUCK! waste of goddamn advertising space.
so im flipping through it...oh look, an aldo 'stop aids' ad that looks exactly like jamie foxx's pose for the One campaign.
oooooo originality at its finest. i bet the same photographer did them and was trying to cut costs.
the aldo one is actually two pages, the second being the twins fuckheads from good charlotte. i dont even know why the word 'good'is in their band name. it should be Shitty Charlotte. or "look at me im 26 and think im still 14 and angsty Charlotte".
the jamie foxx picture actually made me angry. i have no problems with the ideals behind the One campaign.
but i think it is probably the most ironic ad campaign i have ever seen.
you have the richest and most famous people in the entertainment industry advertising it.
first of all, buying your little white bracelet will not end poverty. mostly because your little white bracelet does not cost $50,000, all of which would go directly to aiding poor people.
secondly, for this ad in particular (if you manage to find an actual copy you'll be able to tell better) look at his watch. it's a diamond encrusted watch.
you know what i want to see happen? like a group of famous rich people who get together and decide "hey you know what? the total earnings from all our movies/albums/whatevers this year are x amount of millions. let's all take six months or a year off from movies/songs/whatever and actually go to places that need help, and stay there and help instead of doing a three or four day press junket and coming back and boldly saying 'yes these people need help, now you average folk go out and do all you can to help while we stand here and say good for you, im going to make another movie now to support our buldging economy'
i would throw all my support behind that. but it'd never ever happen. it's sad to think it probably never will. it's not as if these people cant afford to do that. mel gibson is almost a billionaire. isnt a good catholic supposed to help his fellow man? im sure with his near billionaire status he could probably supply food and medical equipment for a dozen countries and still be able to afford his $5000 cigars.
goddamn it, now i need to go buy a slurpee or somethign and calm the fuck down.



i say, that chap seems to have scored.

everyone go say happy belated bday to julie.

it was roasty today. 28 in the shade. we edged a fucking ball diamond all day in that shit.
camel packs are fucking amazing.

alright, now everybody on the count of three...





i am the eggman


thanks alana and emily for snagging me this very last conference t shirt.
and yes, i have no problem wearing a tshirt from the Women's Studies University of Alberta conference.
i mean, look at it. any university student who likes stupid jokes would like this shirt.

it's hot hot hot out today. waste of a day at work pretty much. lots of driving around in a golf cart aimlessly trying to look busy.
going to be hotter out tomorow. like 31.
shite yo.
actually, wayne and mike and i had to extend an irrigation valve hole by about two feet and three down. we were right behind the parking lot of Bev Facey high school and these two white boieeees in a ratty old isuzu trooper were listening to tupac at full volume right beside us. and we're like...fucks sake, you're two upper middle class white guys in sherwood park alberta. if you did that in a large city youd probly get killed.

my grandpa is here cause him and my sister are going to china for two weeks tomorrow.
i have the whole long weekend off but im not going camping.
the oilers will win tomorrow.
the city will be bedlam.
it'll be fucking awesome.

my ontology can beat up your ontology


this is my ghetto oilers flag that i made with a wood thing i found and the newspaper posters.
im going to put it on whatever machine i use tomorrow.
and just for spot me.

coleman's lunchpak

for some reason my dad thinks i was born in 1982. so. for the last few months everything that he's sent to the feds that has to do with me has had 1982 as the birth date.
he did it on the census.
and he's been griping about revenue canada cause my tax thing has been there "for more than two goddamn months, i want to know what the hell is going on."
so, letter in mail today from RC. i walk in front door right after work smelling of paint, sweat, dust and outdoors.
dad: (points to letter on table) open that it's for you.
me: revenue canada?
dad: (suspicious voice) they don't usually send envelopes like that, i don't know what it is. but they've had your tax thing for over two months and i want to know why.
me: ok. (open letter, contains two pages of typed notes and a pink envelope)
dad: ahhhhh shit.
me: (reading) we cannot assess your tax form blah blah
dad: what?
me: why do you keep thinking i was born in 1982?
dad: oh...werent you?

so, im not sure how many more things he's done this with. anyway, i needed a copy of my birth certificate, or you know, as is the government way send the original documents through the mail and hope that canada post knows what the fuck it's doing. so i pull out my birth cert and drivers, and hand them to my dad cause i know he's thinking "library is still open." but then he stops and says, "take it over to the school and have them photocopy it."
the school is my K-9 french immersion.
so before i get to shower or clean myself up...across the park goes i, still stinkin of da days work.
parking lot...mostly empty. good maybe i wont have to do this.
office...mostly empty...good i can go home.
new lady principal ive never met walks in....damn...
brief explanation of "um...i used to go here...."
but then.
oh, then.
then out of the VPs office walks ******'s dad. i referred to ****** a while ago in many profane ways. i didnt' really want to have to have him photocopy the things but i dont know the new principal.
entire convo happens in french. he asks what im doing, still at the county ok.
he asks how school is going. good, after? oh grad school very good.
he doesnt mention, nor do i ask of the job, whereabouts or general overall being and existance of "i fucked over all my friends especially pat."
much inward cringing about that may now occur because inevitably people will find out that i talked to his dad and then the questions will start and i dont have any goddamn answers people.
so yeah.

at work we have an old shitty cushman to use. al the mechanic said if we blew it up he'd get us a new one. leslie and i took it to broadmoor lake park to do a bit of a cleanup. stop for break. end of break, "oh hey, i guess i'll turn this here key to start the cushman so we can be on our merry way and -CRRRRRRRRRGRGRGRKKGKRKRKRKRZZZZRZRZRZZRZ!!!!" sounds bad....
k, so i didnt blow it up, but apparently the starter decided that it would kill itself for us.
Pat 1, Machinery 0.
go back to sap to paint lines. painting painting painting - SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
oh for fucks sake....
randy looks, knows what it is, curses the fact that the engine is very hot and replaces seized pully assembly.
Pat 2, Machinery 0.
finish painting, time to clean the kromer and -OW HOT WATER IN THE TANK!
Pat 2, Machinery 1.

i have these Oilers posters that came in the newspaper a few days ago that i think im gonna attach to the machines. or make a flag out of them. and THEN attach them.

i think tonight my friend amanda and i are gonna go look for swings. we were supposed to last week but it was rainy and cold. now its hot and hot.



three days old


the inside of my head sounds like kevin smith, alana talking to my parents, myself telling myself to bang my head on something, the knights of Ni, and Go Shorty its your birthday.
thus, a jumble.
thus, while i am fatigued, im not entirely sure i can sleep yet.
people are good at things and not so good at other things.
im a part of people so i naturally have these traits as well.
people also like to tell themselves theyre good at things they really arent.
again, i am of the people part.
thomas the train engine was full of shit you know. all that crap about "i think i can i think i can"...fuck that. in the real world that mostly sets you up for disaster.
unless you know you can, dont tell yourself otherwise.
ok self:
dont tell myself otherwise cause all you end up doing is hitting a big wall and no one likes that.
my second year in ottawa was probably the worst year in my entire life. having to leave made it worse. having to tell myself i could easily deal with it...harder still.
everyone always talks about how after high school everything changes. well yeah, but then again, not everyone moves across the country, likes it, things get fucked, things fall apart, things are moved to the otherside of the country and here it goes again the wheels are turning turning turning and they never quite stop.
this year was really weird. major panic attack about grad school. living in rez still. stiiiiiiiill. im done my undergrad in one semester and most of my friends at sfu arent even in 3rd year yet.
ist fucked up thinking that i could end up TAing one of their classes...
its also hard realizing that the party is coming to an abrupt end. its like the end of high school all over again. but not. two years of time at sfu, and then where? vancouver? toronto? montreal?
it's like every time i go somewhere, just when i finally start to get settled, life decides "hey, he's having a bit too much fun there, better do something about it."
i think i talk to like three people from high school. mostly because it's easier to deal with friends at work who dont want to know where so and so is.
like, a lot of this makes me think of corey's birthday when everyone was down in our living room and i got all moody and went up and stood on my balcony and after a while mike and everett came up and the three of us were standing there and mike was like "dude, the next three years are going to be awesome."
and im like, shit where do i fit in there?
i make all these attachments and they inevitably fall apart.
alana and emily are in town, and they tell me how everyone's like "if pat were here itd be way cooler."
im glad theres that sentiment, but holy fuck, way to stick the knives back in the holes that i thought id patched up. my ottawa people were my first after high school friends. my ottawa people are incredible. so are my vancouver people. but i havent managed to connect in the same way to most peopl in vancouver as i did with the pages. not to say that i didnt, but just not as many.
alana's taking over a sublet at simon's place, and i can think is, i liked walking around in the glebe when i went to visit, why the fuck arent i in the glebe right now?
but then if i was i know id be thinking, i like the mountains why the fuck arent i in vancouver right now?
why is it that i can excell academically and have loads of friends but as soon as i get into a relationship it goes nowhere? alana says im too much of the friend type and need to do something about that. its like i collect people.
if i could, id just leave and go live up in a shack in the mountains or something. or somewhere where there werent a lot of people and i could just be on my own.
it's achem's razor. simplest answer is usually the best.
too many people, more headspins. fewer people, less headspins.
but it doesnt work that way.
i have one semester left. it's making my whole life feel like im running towards something that i cant see but need to get to and it scares the shit out of me and along the way it takes down whatever it needs to and thats not always a good thing.
this isnt my room anymore,
my room had pictures and posters and flags.
this room has off fucking pink paint and no posters or pictures or flags.
this room is full of shit my sister stores in here, and shit my mom puts in here.
its like a goddamn four month hotel room.
i get up and i and fucking cut grass.
a lot of my friends get up and go work for a minister or policy research council or government bodies.
a lot of my friends are done school and happy about it.
im throwing myself at more.
a lot of my friends are way more fucking sucessful now than i'll probly ever be.
and in more than jobs.
i dont even know what this is anymore. like a lament or frustration or venting or just writing this or what.
fine read it, its on fucking public display.
im sick of something and i cant even figure out what im sick of.
fuck this. everyone makes good and bad decisions. ive made my fair share of both.
tell yourself the same thing. because you know that its fucking true.
not all of our decisions makes everyone happy, thats not possible.
and dealing with the consequences fucking sucks, but whatever, its part of life and life aint fair and then you die. so you know what?
i tell myself just to deal with it.
things will go to shit and things will not go to shit.
itd be better if things didnt go to shit, but that wont ever happen so best to take it in stride and not dwell on things too long.
in three months, whatever i do this summer is going to be ripples in the pond. whatever i do in the fall will be ripples in the pond. whatever happens after the pond.
hello me, this is me talking to you. i think me can relatively say that people can generally relate to this in some way.
ive been through it for long enough and enough times to know that.
it'll suck today.
it'll still suck tomorrow.
and it'll suck on monday.
but tomorrow there's game 5 to look forward to.
next week there's a long weekend to look forward to.
going camping this summer is something to look forward to.
so what's worth more time thinking about?
the shat of life, or the not shat that can always get your feet back on the ground?
fucking rant...i think i just wanted to see the words on the screen. because then they're in front of me and not some corporeal thought in my head.
this is my brain.
this is my brain on shrugs.

i cant escape this town


please stay tuned for these commercial messages.

um....i thiiiiiiiiink we're cheering for...


so, meeted alana and emily in front of the uofa rez, and went and found the Powerplant which is like the pub/concert venue on campus cause there was a mixer for their conference in one of the rooms. turns out it was right next to the great big room with all the guys and projection screens that were showing the game. we did stay at the mixer long enough to snack a bit. but i mean, after two goals are scored and youre not in the room with the game on there should be no question as to which room you SHOULD be in.
and toskala, duuuuude what the fuck? hahahaha you fucked your team over baaaaaaadly!
so then of course, we're at the uofa, which of course means were like 10 minutes from whyte ave. so we go to whyte ave.
high five fucking central. emily went high five craaaaaaaaazy!
and then we got to the train tracks where Hudsons bar and grill is, which is where the mob usually forms. but we turned back up whyte to find somewhere to eat first. which is a good thing. trust me. a very good thing. like....avoiding riot police and thrown objects good thing.
hey, it's the playoffs.
so alana wanted steak. so we found steak. i had ahi tuna. food was gooders.
took them back to rez and listened to their paper that theyre presenting.
phoned mike several times to see where the fuck he was and he said hed call me when he finally got down there.
so it's likw midnight and a and e need sleep so i see if iris is awake so i can wait for mike there.
so i go over to irises for a bit and mike never phones.
but meh. it was good times all around.
and then i got to sleep in again. fucking rights.
probly gonna clean my room at some point today.
im going to see the chili peps with danielle in september. shes back from da down undah and all jet lagged.
it's nice out.
im gonna go outside and find something to do that'll keep me away from the hosue for a few hours cause it's nice out.

who are we cheering for again?