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sh!thawks...on parade: there's a naturalistic blowing through the air

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31.12.08

i sat next to a guy on the plane yesterday who's taking his BBA at Langara who told me he wasn't sure if he had a ride back from the airport because his buddy who was supposed to pick him up had texted him earlier saying "i woke up in Coquitlam, I lost my pants, but i'll still try to make it"

dude's a day early for that.

when i flew back to edmonton my suitcase was 3 pounds heavy. the lady at the counter was nice enough to ignore it. on the way back to vancouver it as 5 pounds over. the lady at the counter asked if i could take something out and stick it in one of the two very full backpacks i had over my shoulders.

what an astute observer you are for noticing that five more pounds of whatever can be stuffed in there.

meh.

i paid the overage charge. 5 pounds cost me exactly $42. at which point i took it as a sign because everyone knows the importance of 42.

anyway. got back. stuffed my face with Pho, headed over to the Mob House to watch the Canucks play a crappy third period and meet an American who agreed with me that Vancouverites dont have a good grasp on how to shovel snow.

OMG. SERIOUSLY. ok, i realize that it hardly snows like this here, but for fucks sake. if you only shovel a four foot space away from your car that you have to spend twenty minutes maneouvering into, OF COURSE YOURE GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS PARKING. i watched a guy parallel park through a space barely wider than his car last night. it was like he purposely only built a door in a snow berm that big so he could have a fort around his car.

look, Vancouverites, I'll give you some good snow removal advice.

you ARE allowed to bitch and complain about how deep and heavy the snow is. you ARE NOT allowed to do that until after you have cleared the entirety of your front walk. it's just the way it is. likewise, you ARE allowed to complain about snow making it hard to park. you ARE NOT allowed to bitch and complain about it if you only either brush the snow off your car and nothing else, or only clear a tiny little section that you can barely drive out of. if your street is wide enough, you should clear ALL THE DAMN WAY around your car and alternately throw the snow into the middle of the road and/or beside or over the sidewalk but not ON the sidewalk. you ARE allowed to throw it on another car should that care park in a space preventing your own vehicle from easily leaving.

or, if you feel up to it, duct tape a few shovels to the front of your car and just give'r.

anyway.

tonight is New Years. i've never ever made new year's resolutions because lets face it, the likelyhood of anyone ever accomplishign them for reals is pretty low. the only thing i've decided to do this year is to meet some more of the locals that i havent had the chance to meet yet. and try go get a beer float in there at some point. and not fuck up on my thesis defence. other than that, we'll see what happens. you can't tell me that over the course of an entire year you'll be able to stick to one or two ideas you drunkely spout at 1am. never gonna happen. it's way easier to just take things as they come cause then you dont feel some stupid kind of guilt next new years when you try to remember if you actually did what you said you'd do the year before.

there's a naturalistic blowing through the air

1 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer Stoddart said...

2009 is the year for beer floats! FOR SURE.

2:43 PM  

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