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sh!thawks...on parade: 01.2007

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friday is jeans day. fuck yes. so im going to have to watch office space again cause yeah, what with working in a large office type place now it just makes that much more sense dontcha think?

so the last few days im pretty sure i've heard the word 'career' more times than in the last few months. i dont know, it just still seems like a foreign concept to me. everyone's like, yeah this is a good job to build a career on. career? what? seriously, do i have to start thinking in those terms now? because i really dont want to. even in high school you here this stuff, it's good for your career in the future. ok...and? no one ever really stops to tell you that if you think about it for more than two seconds a career ultimately means doing the same thing for the rest of your life. in that case i think my career should be not having a career because unless it's either rockstar or super eccentric professor im not sure thats a word i want associated with my goings on. i have a job, it gives me something to do and new stuff to learn. i do not have a career. i never really put much thought in to it. people would always ask what i wanted to be and my answer has pretty much always been *shrug* whatever keeps me happy. cause really, pay rent, buy food, buy beer you're pretty much good to go. hide in a suitcase on the way to portugal and you're totally set.

i have a picture i took when i was in high school when the alberta teachers went on strike. the catholic board never waslked out so i still had class. the picture is from the day i decided to skip school and go with my mom to the big ATA rally at the Legislature. it's this dude with a big placard that says "What is the future worth?" i know the initial point of it, but really, why not ask that question in a more general sense? it's a good question i think.

doodoodoodoothisisadialtonedoodoodooooooooo mon stilo est bleu.

trogdor was a speakerphone


so im getting a handle on the program at work and whatnot. thats pretty much it for now. ummmmmmmmmmm so yeah. theres gonna be a lot of chicken, im warning you.
do other people think i have random tourettes or something? i dunno. fuck fuck frig?


there's a new look to Tossed Salad

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oh sick one!


when i was a Page if i wanted to keep anything from work i had to pretty much steal it. so i got a few stickers and pictures and pins and a soup bowl and yadda yadda.
i started my new job today. today i was already provided with a brand new coffee mug, a new pen a new binder, note pads and sticky notes. plus, i get to sit next to a big ass window with a big ass view.
i asked if the dude from the commercials ever shows up. he doesnt.
i wonder how many days it's going to take for my body to start hating me for getting up early many days in a row after being conditioned to go to sleep at 3am and get up at 11 in the morning...
so, now i get a cubicle so that means i can put stuff in my cubicle. never having had a cubicle before, what kinds of decorative items might one find or place in a cubicle so that the cubicle has a decorative cubicle flair to it that distinguishes it from the other cubicles with their own cubic decorations?
let's take a gander at what i have lying around that could be CubiCDecoratiC...

- a talking Stitch with laser guns
- red fuzzy handcuffs
- a peeing statue
- a koala that clings to things
- pornstar bookends
- oilers figurines
- various carabiners
- a miniature ketchup bottle
- an empty peanut container

videos from the other night are here, here, here, here and helium

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it doesn't taste raw, in fact it doesnt taste like food at all


ok so there was much drinking and debauchery for a good part of yesterday involving the Tossed Salad crew. what better way to start off an afternoon of driinking than being used as cheap labour to clean a balcony that had seen better cleaning days. now he has no inside broom.
danielle also found out that apparently the flash on my camera causes her to spontaneously orgasm.
i found out that staring at her ass makes you fall off the sidewalk when it's decided after five or six beers that we need bread to go along with dinner and the three of us decide to walk to the store while chad hides his unfinished bottle in his jacket which he seems to not like to use the pickets of at all.
enter the the Foxx and a trip to Bill Copeland arena to hopefully find out if there's a beer garden at the burnaby express hockey game. here we turned into those loud assholes in the first row who arent even really paying attention to the game and end up getting just as much beer on us as in us. this was made even more clear when it was discovered that spring loaded chair + robyn + beer = calamity of humourous proportions.
also, arena hot dogs are fucking tasty. and some 9 year old girl decided to chide us because according to her "hey's not a buffet" as she tried to jump over our food.
so let's get the fuck outta there. let's go drink moresies. let's go to the Mountain Shadow. here we find our adventure added to as dario met us there for more random throwing of objects and quotings of comedy now specials.
thus far the tally on the night....7 beers, three white russians, a shot of sambuca, two lemon drop shots and a bazooka joe.
also, ladybugs form carniverous hunting packs that feed on human flesh, my shoes learned to fly from tall buildings, i can air guitar like a motherfucker, radio + metallica + patz in back of car = headbanging to the extreme, 16:9 shots of the 10.2megapixel variety cause jealousy, liquor and whores is an awesome song to have stuck in your head, consequently, liquor and whores is ALSO a good song to sing to a complete stranger exiting a pub who you have just sung happy birthday too after sucking helium out of a balloon, boobs are always entertaining, things like to fall off the side of chad's building a lot whether it's remotes, shoes or a sudden water fall that happens to look like it's watering a potted plant from 18 stories up. also, garbage chutes are way too small.
also, i start work at 9 in the am tomorrow. back to the world of paid persons for me.
oh, and, oudly speaking in french at a table where the ratio of italians outweighs you is a good way to have italian hand gestures thrown your way.

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point at yourself with your elbow