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sh!thawks...on parade: perpetual oysters

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5.6.06


when we were clearing sod from under the bleachers on one of the ball diamonds there were a bunch of roots that the bobcat was having trouble with so i grabbed one of the straight edge shovels and started going at it all ax style.
which got me to thinking about how ive never really been an agressive person but havent ever shied away from jumping over tables or anything.
if there was one card game that could define high school it was asshole. fuck this poker stuff.
it was pretty much whoever had a spare would go to the common room of the high school and play.
one day there were about eight of us playing and kelly grabil, this big fat fuck who's probly as smart as your pencil, was playing with us.
no one liked grabil but he couldnt get thet through his head.
and for some reason he liked to poke fun at me. i think i put up with it pretty good through the three years there. it wasnt any big secret that my siter and i had a jewish background, but he liked to use that for his attempts at jokes. you know, like, how many jews can you fit in a car type ones.
anyway.
grabil had about a foot of height on me and a good 90 pounds too.
so we're playing ass, and he's sitting across from me and we're all not liking the fact he's there but he hasnt done anything stupid yet so whatever.
i think there were like two other tables in the common room with people at them too.
and out of the blue he goes "hey zaph, it's funny that people died in the holocaust."
the common room at my high school was right next to the office, which had great big windows instead of walls.
it was one of those moments where everyone just stops, looks at each other, thinks...oh shit...and everyone turns to see what youre going to do.
but i think they didnt really get to go through all the motions cause i was up over the table pretty fast punching grabil in the head.
the good thing about beating on someone from ona table is that you have the dual advantage of being higher and theyre sitting.
it's too bad that some random woman came out of the office and yelled "stop!" cause i would have really liked to keep at it.
i was also the guy in my high school that pretty much everyone knew who i was but im not sure why, and it seemed that a lot of people were interested in what was going with me and i have no idea why and could really care less. i thought it was pretty funny cause after the bell rang, it took about fifteen minutes til you could walk down the hall and you could hear "holy shit did you hear what zaph did to grabil?"
and then of course the dumbfuck decides to try and take another crack at the jokes after school was out for the day. my friends all told him that they wouldnt try to stop me if i went after him again.
i think that's about the only time i've ever gotten that pissed at someone.
yeah...so. i dunno, thats just one of those things that replays itself in my head every so often.
im pretty sure it's not at all relevant to anything but whatever. how much of what i ever write here is relevant?

today was the very last track meet of the season.
it was the Home Schooled Kids of Sherwood Park track meet.
oh how very nice, your child is socially inept and youre taking him to play with 66 others who just seem to want to run around randomly and chase each other with our rakes.
you know if you send them to public school they can chase each other with guns.

thats my shiny new watch.
im in a pretty good mood and have been for the last few days. good moods should stick around longer.
the puck drops in 15 minutes.
what the hell kind of dumb idea is a white housecoat and red clown hair?

LET'S GO OILERS!!!

perpetual oysters

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