yesterday i saw a dead body being carted off down the street on a rickshaw van. everything else yesterday seemed kind of insignificant.
two months seems very long and very short at the same time. two more to go seems too short but an eternity at the same time.
i think that sometimes you need just a small reminder of what you've done before to tell yourself what you can do when you really put your mind to it. this weekend i've not done any work at all hardly. I needed that break from things. i was hitting the wall last week and knew i would take it out on most likely my students here. then today i was walking around and stopped for a second and had one of those moments, that you wouldnt necessarily count as an epiphany, or as some deeply moving realization, or an earth shattering realization, no, it was just one of those moments where you stop and remember what it is you can do when you need to and really want to. that's when you have to work to convince yourself that the amount of time you have to do it in isn't nearly as short as you make it out to be.
think about what you'd do if you saw a dead body get pedaled by right in front of you. how would you react? i didnt feel indifferent, but i didnt feel any sort of concern either. in fact, i felt as though I should know how to react to seeing that but didn't have an answer for myself. karen said that you get an appreciation for the order of things after you see that i guess that makes sense. you also think of strange dichotomies... because i saw it and never really thought anything more than "i wonder who's having a Starbucks right now?" and the comparison oddly made sense.
it's not the same as a relative in a hospital. it's not the same as blood stains on the news. it's a reality that, when faced with it, makes you wonder what exactly your own world is built around.
two months seems very long and very short at the same time. two more to go seems too short but an eternity at the same time.
i think that sometimes you need just a small reminder of what you've done before to tell yourself what you can do when you really put your mind to it. this weekend i've not done any work at all hardly. I needed that break from things. i was hitting the wall last week and knew i would take it out on most likely my students here. then today i was walking around and stopped for a second and had one of those moments, that you wouldnt necessarily count as an epiphany, or as some deeply moving realization, or an earth shattering realization, no, it was just one of those moments where you stop and remember what it is you can do when you need to and really want to. that's when you have to work to convince yourself that the amount of time you have to do it in isn't nearly as short as you make it out to be.
think about what you'd do if you saw a dead body get pedaled by right in front of you. how would you react? i didnt feel indifferent, but i didnt feel any sort of concern either. in fact, i felt as though I should know how to react to seeing that but didn't have an answer for myself. karen said that you get an appreciation for the order of things after you see that i guess that makes sense. you also think of strange dichotomies... because i saw it and never really thought anything more than "i wonder who's having a Starbucks right now?" and the comparison oddly made sense.
it's not the same as a relative in a hospital. it's not the same as blood stains on the news. it's a reality that, when faced with it, makes you wonder what exactly your own world is built around.
there's a house built out in space
i took over the world at 5:04 AM
1 Comments:
Pat,
Great post. The reality of the matter is that humans can disappear from the face of the Earth, and they seem to be oblivious to this fact. But as you said here, it's a reality that sometimes hits you hard.
Post a Comment