i turned off the grill so you get chicken instead

i started on one of my economics textbooks. micro. so far econ is pretty easy to explain. like so:
"this begets that, but you can't have that without this, but you need demand for this to produce that, which creates necessity for this that then enables the production of that."
the good thing is that i can actually conceptualize all that.

when i was walking somewhere today i kept throwing around the idea of home in my head. and then i decided that the description in Garden State isn't always the right one. it's not an imaginary place, it's just somewhere that we all spend so much time looking for and aren't ever sue if we've found it.

i'm a little sad that i never got to go prospecting in the badlands with my dad this year at all, and im a little sad that the only plinking we got to do was a few hours on fathers day, and i miss going to to the rockies with my mom and going for japanese lunches with my sister. i miss the truck. i miss the basement. i miss working for the county. i miss sitting on the front step after work.

i miss these things but i dont dwell on them much. i think if you can acknowledge the things you really miss then you can appreciate them more the next time you get to do them. once my mom asked me if i'm going to move back to ottawa after i finish my MA. i said i wont even wonder because a few years ago i thought i'd be at home taking geology, then i thought that i'd still be in ottawa, and had no idea i'd be living in vancouver. if i move somewhere after i'll miss vancouver, i'll miss the people, and the mountains and the ocean, but just like missing home, if you can do it and not feel sad about it then you're ok.

i turned off the grill so you get chicken instead