you're just trying to get me drunk and take advantage

true story, in high school i knew this guy Brad and one day, i dont know how or why, his girlfried let it slip to someone that he had miserably failed at trying to bone her because his pecker was broken. so of course, being the concerned bunch of friends that we were, we took it upon ourselves to announce it to everyone who happened to pass us by. except we added a little pizazz to it. so we started running around the school yelling in east indian accents something along the lines of "OH MY! VAT DO YU DU VEN YOUR PENISH IS BROOOKEN! BROOOKEN LIKE BRADLEY'S PENISH IS BROOKEN!"
and of course being that we were good students as well, we felt it was our role, nay, our OBLIGATION, to inform our teachers as well. thus,
"OH MY SIR, VE ARE HAVING A PROBLEM BECAUSE VAT DO YOU DOOO VEN YOUR PENISH IS BROOKEN LIKE BRADLEY'S PENISH IS BROOOKEN!"
consequently, not long after, we had to once again take it upon ourselves to inform as many people as possible, though lacking any distinguishable accents this time, "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU LIVE WITH YOUR GRANDPARENTS AND YOUR GRANDMA WALKS IN WHILE YOU'RE JERKIN THE GHERKIN ONLY SHE WALKS IN RIGHT WHEN YOU BLOW YOUR WAD?"
answer:
YOU TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOR SOME REASON AND THEN THEY SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF MOCKERY!
don't you think that would be a good psychological trick for all those fundamentalists? instead of warning that you'll go blind, just make everyone picture your granny walking in and you shooting your load all over the cookies she just brought you from the oven because you're such a good boy? THEY'RE FROSTED NOW BIATCH!!!

you're just trying to get me drunk and take advantage