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sh!thawks...on parade: squeaky McSqueaky dog

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14.7.06


25 points to who ever says where the picture of the pickle was taken. hint: platform of some type.

i spend four hours painting today. then i spent four hours chipping paint off the machine. then i spent a few minutes wondering whether or not the solvent i used would melt through my skin.

in my random thinkings of painting days i usually at some point tackle some kind of communication type theory or ponder the shortcomings of a techno infused and obsessed world. and i started to wonder whether or not a blog can be anthropomorphized. if that were the case then my stattement in my New Info Tech and Society class final essay would be totally backwards cause i argued that blogs are a sort of two dimensional extension of a persona. but if it's something you can give human qualities without it being human then i was wrong. sort of. in a way. kind of maybe so what.

some 14 year old kid died because his dad was a fucking moron and because this province is decidedly hickish enough to let 12 to 14 year olds get jobs. there was actually a story on the news about this tonight. the other day i cant remember where i was...oh ya now i do...when i went to see Pirates 2...and while we were in line there were like four or five 12 yr old girls in fron of us trying to be the shit cause they work at mcdonalds one day on weekends. i know this because thats what they were talking about. and now im pretty sure that since 12 year olds can work in a fast food restaurant here im never eating at a fast food place again because i dont want some little fucking 12 year old shithead making, prepping, or going near my food because they have no friggin clue whats going on. it's bad enough that we have to deal with the acne prone 15 and 16 year olds who cant get a cheeseburger right. now we have to put up with fucking tweens getting all high and mighty cause they can mop a fucking floor.

let me tell you what little 12 year old mopper. im going to take your mop away from you. im going to take your cell phone away from you. im going to bash the fuck out of your fucking cell phone with your fucking mop cause youre 12 and dont need a fucking cell phone. then im gonna swat at you with your mop and tell you to get the fuck away from my trans fat ridden burgers and come back when youre old enough to fit into the voice-cracking-acne-host teenager that we all know how to deal with.

seriously, i dont really fucking care if this makes people angry, but i really really really want to go into a McDicks one day and have a 12 year old take my order and fuck it right up and then fucking yell at them and make them cry because theyre borderline 11 and still cry when they get yelled at and then complain to the manager that he/she is using child labour and that his/her fast food restaurant is comparable to a sweat shop and that who in their right fucking mind would hire a 12 year old to handle food that the general public eats? and when the manager says well too bad, i'll say you know what, i was 12 to 14 once and when i was 12 to 14 and all ym friends were 12 to 14 we were all little shitheads because all people who were once 12 to 14 were all little shitheads and you know it and little shitheads only cause trouble and now youve got a fucking restaurant full of little shitheads who are just waiting to cause some fucking problems.

GO BACK TO YOUR GODDAMN GI JOEs AND BRATZ YOU!

YOU. ARE. KIDS.

KIDS. DO NOT. NEED. JOBS.

KIDS. DO NOT. NEED. CELL PHONES.

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON BRATZ DOLLS CAUSE I SWEAR ILL FUCKING GOUGE THE EARDRUMS OUT OF ANYONE WHO SAYS THAT THEYRE A GOOD TOY FOR KIDS TO HAVE!!!

now im going to go to 7-11 cause its night time and i know for a fact that no one would be stupid enough to hire a 12 year old for the night shift at 7-11.

squeaky McSqueaky dog

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