his wife is a bitch

simon's in town tonight for some liberal party thing so im going to meet downtown later but i cant drink cause im driving.
this brings the Page's in Alberta This Summer tally to three. this leaves....many.
i should call julie this week. and ash.
i decided today that it would really fucking suck if you had to spend your whole day on a deck mower if you had the trots. i thought this while spending my whole day on a deck mower and i thought it was pretty funny.
i can picture some old fucker on it who's got the sweats, and he hits a big hole in the ground and he just starts yelling and squirming. hahahaha.
kassia said i was weird in a good way. i dont think she was including toilet humour in that.
other people take toilet humour into consideration.
julia and i went for ice cream last night cause we were supposed to last week but she had to go up to peace river for a few days so we went yesterday, but she was like "tara and i are going to a movie do you want to come?"
so i said yes.
and we went to TWO mcDicks cause the first one didnt HAVE ice cream! and then we're driving out of hte park and im like...where are we going to see the movie? oh the cheap seats ok.
what are we going to see?
just my luck.
...isnt that a lindsay lohan movie?
yes.
you're never telling anyone i came to see this with you.

redundant now yes. but whatever. ok ok so this also gives credence to vicki's claim that i have no guy friends here really. BUT i am going to hang out with simon tonight so HAH! even if he's only in town tonight it's still hanging out with a guy! and im going to the tool concert with mike so there. other than that....um....yeah...hangin wit der chicas.

we're not supposed to roll our sleeves up at work. 4 inch minimum sleeves to cover our shoulders. im sorry, but fuck no, i need to fix this farmers tan. so eight hours on a deck mower later and i look like my arms are made of neopolitan ice cream. nice tanned forearms, pasty white whatever-you-call-the-part-of-your-arm-between-your-elbow-and-shoulder, and pink shoulders cause i didnt put as much sunscreen there. tomorrow is going to be hotter out. like 34-35ish. crazy shit. it's gonna melt my food hot out! mosquitos bursting into flame in mid air hot! snails dancing on the pavement hot! dont take a piss outside or you'll burn in bad places hot! leaves turn into potato chips hot! the devil uses AC hot! ricky martin singing and making you light yourself on fire hot! people quoting nelly cause they think theyre funny hot! superman trying to cover up embarassing sweat stains hot! old people turning into prunes instead of eating them hot! take a shit in liquid nitrogen hot! ....i think im done now.

dog shit instantly composting hot.

ok now.

his wife is a bitch