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sh!thawks...on parade: tapestries on tape

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5.11.08


yeah, that would in fact be me half awake with my cheek squished on the corner of my macbook. i swear i only put my head down for a second with no intention of falling asleep. well, i couldnt have anyway cause i had 1410am online on listening for a quick mention of my CNGPM entry.
you ever done that thing where you're really really really tired and you try ton convince yourself that a nap is ok but then you try and nap but you try and nap while listening to the tv or radio because there's something on that you don't want to miss so you kind of half end up with one eye half open trying to keep yourself awake just enough to hear and the rest of your brain is like "no dude, it doesn't work if you keep one open" but you're all "hey brain, i promise if you wait you'll hear something of value" but your brain isn't really convinced and it keeps trying to shut your eye and you're losing out and then you hear what you want to hear and you give that dopey, more asleep than awake grin because you heard your name on the radio or tv and you're all "see brain i told you so, now you can fall asleep" but in retalitation for not listening the first time your brain is like "sorry Bucko, im keeping you awake now, in a semi cognitive state that you have to deal with to get your work done this afternoon."

and you're all "...fuck."

and so then you start this grey area of self rationalization where you half want to stay awake to see how much work you can do and THEN sleep, and the other half is like, no man, sleep FIRST because then you'll be rested and do better work. but then the first half is all "but after i wake up i'll be hungry, and i'll lose out on having to make food and not work" and then the other half is like "yeah but food and sleep is good for you and you work better after both" and then the first half is like "but when you eat you'l turn on the tv and get caught up in it" and then the seond half is like "dude, you have no classes tomorrow, you can work late and sleep in a bit and still get stuff done" and the first half is like "this is a good point but why not get the work out of the way today and get other work done tomorrow and not have to spread it out as much" and then the third half is like "can't you two shut the hell up? can't you see i'm blogging now?" and then the first and second half are all "oh, yeah, sorry dude." and then they both pause and then at the same time they're like "Hey third half that isn't mathematically possible, how about you stop doing that and help us out instead" and then Third Half just stares at them like he's all "go on, tell me im an asshole, do it, do it and see what happens" and then First and Second half kind of look at each other and they're like "maybe we should just wait til he's done." and Third Half is all "yeah that's what I thought". except now you've let the third half continue what he's doing so ostensibly you've just gone and woken yourself up a bit more which you weren't really sure you wanted to do in the first place, but really, in the end youre like "ok the three of you need to listen, Third Half, wrap this up, Second half, let's make some food now because it's still early afternoon and then nap cause then you wont be hungry after you wake up, and First half, you've got a plan of attack on how you'll finish this paper, so chill the fuck out."

and then out of the blue Fourth Half pipes up and is all "hey man, how do you split your brain into three halves?"

what? you've never had a day like this?

tapestries on tape

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