i've been drowned out by the rain

"I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do."

good advice from a computer.

social issues presentation...check.
email profs...check.
apply for more jobs...check.
organize research...check.
clean room...check.

feel accomplished...?

in the last week ive probly gotten more done than in the last month but it all just seems a bit too short of coming to any sort of appreciable end.
im constantly reminded of how much there is to do in such a short span of time and im pretty sure i could do without that.
you know that picture of johnny cash giving the finger to the camera? id like to be able to present that attitude to life when it decides to come knocking with it annoying fucking reminders but i cant. at least not all the time.

ive been sitting here for five hours now. in that time i started and finished a powerpoint presentation, applied to three more jobs and found some more to apply to, found videos online that have to do with a class and forwarded them to my prof, made food, and reorganized notes and research and books into something more decipherable.

i was kind of hoping that all that would take me a lot longer because now im sitting here with nothing to do thinking i should be doing something or else i'll hit that point where you start to feel guilty that you arent doing something after youve gotten so much done but cant find anything to do so you just sit there and try miserably to think up something to occupy yourself with.

im pretty much at a standstill for class work because ive finished everything i can do, and even my uber huge 26 pager for my public opinions class i cant realyl work on because i have enough archival material but i cant do anything else until i talk to my prof tomorrow about other sources of info and what i have to do to get at them.

i dont want to watch a movie because then i'll get caught up in watching it and then watch another one and then feel like i totally wasted four hours.

i coudl apply to more jobs but my brain wont take much more of that today.

fuck it.

i get to go see the Borat movie tonight with my friends. BORAT!!! so there is that to look forward to.
and i actually have a decent amount of food and can make a good meal.
and im actualyl organized.
and i do have lots of stuff done that i would otherwise have left to the last minute.
and i am warm because i have a cool friggin hoodie.
i think i'll do a redesign maybe.

ps. i like your new dress.

pss. happy birthday to tasha

psss. city hall employees need to be in their offices more.

pssss. i feel like makin bakin.

i've been drowned out by the rain