rain rain dont go away keep me home from work another day

i now give you...

Politically Correct Insect Tales For Children

Once there was a frog named Frog. Frog was green with yellow spots. He ate bugs and jumped and swam. One day Frog decided to jump across the road. Frog got squished by a truck. His yellow spots stuck to the wheel.

Once there was a worm named Wiggle. Monica killed him because she doesn’t like worms.

Once there was a fly named Fly. He flew around and annoyed people. One day Fly landed on a table. Fly got squished by a flyswatter.

Once there was an ant named Ant. He got stepped on.

Once there was a stick named Walking. He looked like a tree branch. He found a tree he liked and stood there. The tree got cut down and the saw cut Walking in two.

Once there was a beetle named Juice. He lived in a sandbox. One day Juice got dug up and put in a jar. He lived in the jar til he fell on his back and died.

Once there was a hornet named Sting. He stung people and flew away. He lived happily ever after stinging people until he flew into a windshield.

Once there was a pillbug named Tylenol. I don’t know what he did.

Once there was a grasshopper named Big Rock. He jumped around a lot. One day Big Rock jumped into a net and got put in a jar. He was dipped into candy and a kid bought the sucker with Big Rock in it for 85 cents. Big Rock got eaten.

Once there was a Butterfly named Toast. He liked to fly and then sit and spread his wings. Toast landed on a kid. The kid pulled off Toast’s wings. Toast fell on the ground and died.

Once there was a ladybug named Guy. He was roasted by a magnifying glass.

Once there was a spider named crawl. He scared people. He got flushed down the toilet.

Once there was a stinkbug named Glade. He lived inside. One day Glade was found on the window. Glade was put outside in the snow. Glade froze solid.

Once there was a bedbug named Sleepy. He liked to crawl in beds. Someone laid down on him.

Once there was a scorpion named Rock. He killed Steve-O.

Once there was a bug named Bug. He bugged and he bug bug bugged. Bug bug bug, bug BUG! And THEN bug bug bug bug bug bug bug bug!

Once there was a firefly named Glow. He died of old age.

Once there was a caterpillar named Tent. He ate leaves One a kid put him in playdough. Then the kid rolled it into a ball and threw it against the wall. Tent got made flat.

hey, no one ever said being a bug would be easy.

rain rain dont go away keep me home from work another day