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sh!thawks...on parade: 01.2009

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2.1.09







im making some deliciousness in the form of goose meat and a variety of sauces and spices all mixed together in a party of awesome that'll get slowly dehydrated over the course of the day tomorrow.

im saving all the ones with buckshot in it for chad.

i walked around for a few hours today, around patterson, down to meterotown, best buy, back through the mall, ever wary of the lines and numbers of people that seemed to increase in each subsequent store. it was like there was some unheard signal today that masses of people should all abandon the comfort of their own homes, get their cars stuck in a patch of snow for a half hour and scramble to some place where they could fork over money.

i forked over about $3 for two double cheeseburgers at the McSick's on the kingsway side. cause sometimes you just need a cheeseburger. or a double cheeseburger.... or two... whatever...

given the choice between lead or melamine poisoning from sme water bottle made in china or mcdonalds cholesterol and grease, i'd take the cheeseburger any day.

it's not a video of a dog pooping on a baby

1.1.09

when i went to get groceries today i wondered something. there are 24 or 25 checkout counters at the Superstore that's near my place. today there were eight open and the line ups were six or seven people deep at each one.

one of the biggest annoyances i have is something like this. you've got a shitload of people waiting lined up, you've got the staff necessary to help them all faster and more efficiently, but for some reason the store decides to use the least amount of people to help.

why the hell are there 25 checkout counters if they're never all used? i've never seen them all used, have you? if you're not going to use all the damn things, why not just get rid of some and put more stock in their place?

or, you know, actually use them and not create needless lines of people.

one beer

the inaugural post of 2009 shall consist of five questions asked by Keira-Anne.

1. Why do you like comic books so much?

What's not to like about them? Actually, I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about this one trying to figure it out. I've liked them ever since I was a kid, probably helped out a lot along the way by me dad. Much like a good book, a good comic draws you in to the story and the characters. I think in some ways comics can be even better than a book because you have to be patient with the story line. They're another form of escapism different from other forms of literature. You have a visual story to follow which allows you to get a little closer to the characters. When I was little I read them because superheroes offered the possibility to extend imagination into completely different worlds. I don't read the same ones now as then. I used to read Spiderman, Superman, Fantastic Four, Batman, the classic comic characters that everyone easily associate with the genre. I read those because those were the most widely available, the ones my dad would pick up for me on his way home from work. I went on a bit of a hiatus reading them for a few years, but then got back into them with the introduction of the Dark Tower series based off the Stephen King novels. Now I base my enjoyment on comics not only on the story, but the artwork and the mood that the images create. I don't read the classic heroes as much now. I've switched to more independent series where the art is much more engaging, the stories are all new. The bulk of the ones I read now consist of the Stephen King Dark Tower and Stand series, Wastelands, Jonah Hex and The Programme.


The only one I really still try to find that I read when I was a kid is Adam Warlock. He's always been my favourite character because he's always sort of been on the sidelinesand I always thought he reflected a lot of my own ideas. They're a good way to forget about the real world for a bit, they're a way to collect art in a different way, and you build up story lines slowly and progressively. I think people who don't understand their draw, or assume that people who read them are D&D geeks haven't ever really given them a real chance.

2. What was your favourite after school snack as a wee boy?


My sister and I went to a daycare type thing that a Franch woman had three blocks away from our school. After school she'd make a different snack for all of us each day, but the one I always thought was the best was just a stick of celery with Cheese Whiz on it. I'm not exactly sure why, but it was always the snack that tasted the best to me.

3. Name one thing you always said you'd never do but ended up doing it anyways?

Buy something at Le Chateau. I hate that store. I really, really hate it. But when I was living in Ottawa, i walked by the one in Rideau Mall and happened to look in the window and saw a nice looking black jacket. The only downside was that it had that stupid shiny silver lining that so many of the clothes there seem to barf up. I managed to overlook the lining and bought it, but refused to tell anyone where I bought it because I still felt kind of dirty about buying it from that store. Actually, I ended up modding that jacket with a few safety pins and patches to make it look less Le Chateau-ish and more 'going through the semi goth phase' kind of jacket. I don't have it anymore, and I can't remember what I did with it. I think I gave it to one of my friends, but I''m not sure.

4. If you were a comic book hero, what would your name be, how would you have come about and why would I want to read about your adventures?

oh man...such a hard question. well, since I've got creative freedom here and can come up with anything I want... Let's go with The Walker. I'm going to say the storyline is sort of influenced by The Dark Tower and Deathlands in that The Walker doesn't really have any powers and in terms of his surroundings. ok, so backstory...

The Walker can't remember exactly who he is. He knows that there's been some global catastrophe that's devastated a lot of the human race and the world around him. Only the most basic of technologies and machinery is left working. He's known as The Walker because he only walks where ever he goes because working vehicles are few and far between. Since he doesn't remember his own name 'The Walker' title is simple reference to his mystery and circumstance. The story follows The Walker as he wanders through the world trying to figure out what happened to humanity and remember who he is and where he came from, while avoiding being killed by the scattered gangs of looters and killers that have appeared. I'd say that you'd want to read The Walker comics because he's easy to relate to in the sense that he has no powers except for his own intuitions and experience. He's reflective, questioning and the kind of character you feel a lot of pathos for because he's alone and trying to figure out answers to a lot of hard questions. It's probably not the kind of comic that would appeal to a mass audience, but I think The Walker offers a more realistic sense of fantasy than a lot of characters. He's not exactly a hero, and he's not exactly a villain. He's a representation of a lot of the reservations and questions that humans inherently have but might not always like to face. The Walker lets the reader start to feel what it would be like to live alone with no real place to go, trying to survive with the tools he can find and the questions he can use as starting points. I know a lot of people like to read about characters where the circumstances of their creation is set out in stone, like gamma ray bursts or coming from another planet, but personally I think that a character who's past is unknown and a major question in the story is a lot more engaging and interesting. now if only I could actually draw comics half decently...

5. If you were given the opportunity to take photos in a professional studio session with any celebrity - dead or alive - who would you choose?


Randy Rhoads. he's why i picked up a guitar and i've always maintained that he is the greatest guitarist in history. taking pictures of musicians is fun, but taking photos with a legend would be hard to top.

if those were my last words i can do better